Christmas has ended and it's time for Christmas again... in January. Ha.

I really was going to send you a picture of me in my hat today, but then I forgot the little computer-connecting device and in any case I feel all yucky today. Which one of you is responsible for sending me Strep Throat? Okay, maybe it isn't Strep, but it still feels nasty. I may even have to go into the nearest clinic and get myself checked out. Ick. Maybe tomorrow.

In any case, the weather has warmed up again and the snow has miraculously decided to leave us alone for a couple of hours. Hooray! I'm going to celebrate by spending the rest of the day inside... ish. They tell us that it's supposed to continue like this until the 4th, which is fine with me because it means I don't have to wear nearly as many layers.

But. I don't write letters just to talk about the weather (although it is such a fascinating topic). Let me tell you about my week instead. For Christmas we got together with the district to eat and watch the Christmas Devotional by the First Presidency. Eat dinner, that is. Not the Christmas Devotional. It's always nice to get a reminder that there really are other members of the church in the world,and that they really do do things like show up for devotionals and Conference and church in general. Sometimes I forget that the church isn't just made up of 30 missionaries and few handfuls of members.

We also had a branch Christmas activity on Friday, complete with skits and music and other expected Christmas-y things. Also fun, and it went off surprisingly well, considering that we'd only planned it a few days before. Hooray for being missionaries!

Anyway, I realize that today's is a particularly lame letter, but I can't think of much else to add that I haven't already said. I love you all, I expect New Year's to go smashingly, and... I dunno. Enjoy yourselves?

-Sister Read.

On this day... 28? Really 28? Christopher, you're getting old.

Yes. On this day (ish) 28 years ago my dearest elder brother Christopher was born. Hooray! Hippo Birdies brother dearest, hippo birdies.

Speaking of birthdays, apparently my beloved father also has one coming up on Thursday. Hooray! I will of course be celebrating in the proper American-Missionary-in-Russia style by wandering around in the freezing cold and singing Christmas Carols with the other missionaries in my district, and maybe a few members as well, if they decide they can endure the cold (or if they decide WE can). Should be entertaining.

In any case, it's been at least a month (if not two) since I last wrote about being sick, so I thought I'd tell you about my week spent inside this week... except that for once I wasn't the one who got sick. I think the nasty bad air in Vlad and the ridiculously long time spent in the airport (due to "weather conditions", I forgot to mention last week. I'm not entirely sure where the weather conditions actually were, but apparently they were keeping everybody on the ground in the greater Primorskiy area. Go figure.) weren't the greatest combination of things for my poor junior companion. So we sat inside for a few days. She seems to have recovered now though, so we're going to go out and do amazing things this week.

I also forgot to mention last week that my Christmas package arrived right around the time that Sister Jarman did, so I picked it up on the way to Korea. Thank you! This week I figured I should probably open it and make sure that everything inside was still well and whole, so I did and discovered that apparently the Russian Postal System apparently had the same idea. They were even kind enough to unwrap the presents inside for me. Ha. At least they left me the candy. I am, however, extremely grateful for it, and just a little bit surprised that it arrived when it did. I'm not complaining though. I was expecting sometime in February.

Oh and also: Mom, can you check with the Credit Union about the limitations on my debit card? I tried using it in Korea and it got rejected multiple times. I figured out later that I didn't actually need any of the money on it, but it might be something I need to use in the near/distant future. So if you could ask them that would be just wonderful. Pleaseandthankyou.

Anyway, this week being Christmas and all (hooray!), we do get to call home. Or, okay, you get to call me on Christmas for you and Boxing Day for me. Since that happens to be a Sunday though, I can't actually promise that I'll pick up the phone if you call during the middle of church. I will, however, if you call sometime around 9AM ish my time (which works out to be... what? 4PM your time? I don't actually know on that one. In any case, sometime between the hours of 6:30AM and 9:00AM my time is basically what I'm getting at as a good time to call) and I may even talk to you for an hour or so.

But. That's all I have for you this week. It's Christmas, so go and do something nice for somebody else. Then go do something else for another somebody else. And go to the temple. Please? And then, of course, I want stories. I do love you all though, I expect you to have a wonderful week, and please to be enjoying all of the delicious Christmas-y things that you can't get here in Russia.

-Sister Read

I don't even know where to start.

It's been a strange week. We flew to Vlad, I went to Korea, I came back to Vlad, and we spent two days trying to fly out of Vlad. Hooray!

Really. We were supposed to fly back to Khabarovsk at 8:30 AM Saturday morning, but the plane didn't actually take off until 1:30 AM today. I think that's the longest delay  I've ever experienced in my entire life. Luckily we didn't spend the entire 41 hours sitting in the airport. Just 24. After that we got permission from President Pratt to come back to Vlad and go to church there before running back off to the airport to wait again. On the plus side though, they were showing Russian soap operas on the airport televisions the entire time we were there, and my vocabulary has definitely improved as a result. Ha. I think I've had a grand total of 6 hours of sleep the last three days, and I'm definitely starting to feel a little slap-happy. This upcoming week should be interesting.

Korea was fun though. We got invited over to dinner with the Southerlands, who are an amazingly generous couple living there in Seoul. They made us delicious food, let us watch the MoTab Christmas devotional with them, and generally made for an entertaining evening all around. They even gave us a ride back to the temple dorms afterwards. Some people are really too generous for words to express. I bought myself several pairs of earrings, of course, and then I got home and realized that I've almost officially run out of room in my little makeshift jewerly box (also known as a cleaned-out mint container) to hold them. Guess it's a good thing this was my last trip to Korea. Ha.

Anyway, I've only got about five more minutes to write, but I honestly can't think of anything else to say. Thank you all for being you, I love you a whole lot, I'm exhausted, and I expect this week to be a good one. For you and for me.

Love,
Sister Read

Turns out the Mormon world is a very very small one.

So. Remember how last week I told you I was getting a new companion, and that she's from the States? Well, I did. Guess where in the states? And guess what city? Guess what high school she went to? And guess what company her dad works for? Did you guess Oregon, Beaverton, Westview, and Intel? Because if you did, you'd be right. Ha. We really do live in a small, small world. In any case, I'm serving with Sister Jarman, who is very down-to-earth and hilarious, and who speaks Russian probably as well as I did when I came into the country, and who lived in Moscow with her family because apparently her dad is somewhere up in the High-ups as far as Intel-in-Russia is concerned. She and I had a crazy week of running around like chickens with our heads cut off, but it's definitely made for interesting times. I'm not gong to lie though, I'm still laughing about the smallness of this world. How does that sort of thing happen?

I know I promised pictures of my new hat this week, but there never seemed to be enough time to take them and in any case I don't have my camera adapter with me. Maybe I'll try it while I'm in Korea. Otherwise... well... you'll see it eventually. Even if it is only when I come home (which, Cynthia was unkind enough to remind me, apparently happens in less than 80 days. I'm disgusted).

Like I said, we had a ridiculous week. Sister Volkova and I had to leave for the airport last Tuesday at 7:30 AM, which, in comparison to some of the other flights I've had, was actually quite nice. We didn't have to get up any earlier or anything. Once she got off I had to wait around another two hours for Sister Jarman, and then another 1.5 hours for her baggage, for some reason. Then we had to race over to one of the local hospitals ( where the our Branch Visa Registrar was and had been located) in order to fill out necessary forms, and then from there to the very lively and entertaining Foreign Migration Services building where we got to wait around for somebody willing to deal with "the foreigners." Ha. I'd just as soon not infringe on their day, but it is, after all, their law that we have to be registered. But. I digress. Sister Jarman's first official lesson was Institute on Tuesday night, and then we had a very long lesson with a pair of, well, now they're former investigators, but at the time they were current,  who knew their Bible very well, and who kept trying to insist that we show them physical evidence of the Book of Mormon. Nothing like starting out your time in the field with a little bit of fire (no, for the record, I don't actually know what that's supposed to mean. It's just there because it sounds... I dunno. Wise? But I'm digressing again).

We also spent some more time on the street (where we got a few marriage proposals each), and generally tried our best not to freeze. Tomorrow I have to fly to Korea to renew my visa, and since Sister Jarman can't play around here by herself, that means she gets to come with me and play around in Vlad for a few days while I'm gone. Nothing like trying to memorize two cities at once.

In any case, that's apparently all the time that I've got today. Pass along a huge congratulations to the Hoffmans please, and of course my love to everybody else. And please, have an enjoyable week.

I love you all,

Sister Read

I bought myself a Russian hat. HA.

BUT. You, unfortunately, don't get to see pictures for at least another week because I only just bought it today and in any case it was too cold to take my camera out on the street. My ears feel warmer already though.

Did I mention that it got colder this week? Well it did. I realized yesterday, as we were standing on one of the many many bus stops (is that one word or two? Busstop? No, that doesn't look any better. Maybe I'll add a hyphen. Bus-stop. That's better) around here, trying to get out to one of our less-actives, that I was wearing almost as much as I was on Sakhalin in January (minus one pair of thermals) and I was still freezing. I'd say it's a good thing that I bought my hat, because winter looks like it's going to be... long. Yay! If I lose a toe, I'll make sure that they give it to me in a bag to carry home. Ick.

In any case, you (well, dad at the very least) seem to have noticed that they've taken away my junior companion and given me a greenie. Hooray! Not just any greenie, either. She's a real, true-blood, living American (although okay admittedly she has lived in Moscow for the past... I don't know how many years because her dad works there and so she probably already speaks Russian anyway, but that isn't the point). I won't actually meet her until she flies into Khabarovsk tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure we're going to have an entertaining transfer or two anyway. Right when she gets into the city we have to take all of her stuff and get to the registration office as fast as possible, because apparently that's the very last day/time that she can be officially registered here in Russia before they start thinking up fines. That should be veeeeeery interesting. We'll see how things actually end up working out.

I don't actually know what else to tell you this week (and I'm almost out of time anyway). We had a lesson with a pair of investigators that lasted three hours because they decided that it would be better to teach us than to have us teach them. I laughed. Still haven't got any intention of leaving the church, though.

Okay okay okay, that's all you get for now.  I love you all, I expect you to have an enjoyable beginning of December (what happened to November? And October? 2010, for that matter?), and... so forth.

Much love,
Sister Read

Happy Early Thanksgiving

I will be celebrating in true Russian style... ish. Actually, it's going to be more American-Missionaries-in-

Russia style. Basically the same thing, right? We, as a district (six missionaries and one Senior Couple) will be gathering at the Senior Couple's apartment and eating things like chicken (I'm pretty sure there is turkey in Russia somewhere, because at the very least they know what it is and have a name for it, but I have yet to see or hear about any sign of it. Chicken's pretty much the same, anyway) and potatoes and gravy and rolls and other things that can actually be found here and actually taste fairly decent. I'm going to attempt to make a pie in a baking dish that isn't round, and we may or may not have Real Live Jello from the states. Should be interesting. I told Sister Volkova about Black Friday, incidentally (which reminds me... socks are always a good thing), and she immediately added that to the list of Why Americans Are The Most Insane People On The Planet. "You get up before 6:00 to go shopping? WHY? What's the point of getting a discount before 11:00 AM? Does the product somehow magically change after that? And people enjoy these practices?" Ha. I figured it wasn't worth it to tell her about Boxing Day (which of course doesn't exist for them anyway. As far as the Russians are concerned, Christmas happens on the 7th of January... and it's nowhere near as exciting as New Year's), because then I'd have to explain that when you buy things in America, you can actually take them back if they don't work or if you decide you don't want them. That sort of thing doesn't happen here. They may not want you to buy their merchandise, but they sure as heck don't want it back if you do. But (and this seems to be a usual thing at the beginning of my letters), I seem to have digressed. So. Moving On.

This week was a strange one, that's for sure. At the begining of the week we set a baptismal date with an investigator who wasn't progressing at all. I'm still not entirely sure how that happened, seeing as how I was all for not meeting with her again, but apparently the Spirit works in mysterious ways... just like the Lord.

Later on in the week as we were heading home for the night, I got a phone call from a number that didn't look like the usual Russian phone numbers. I figured out why when I answered. It was a guy in America who wanted to talk to us about "one of your potential investigators there in Khabarovsk." He told us about a friend of his who had recently been asking him about religion, and about ours in particular. I have no idea how he got our phone number, but he told us that he'd already talked with his friend and she was waiting for our phone call to meet. Well, okay then. If you really insist. We met with her on Thursday, and she seems to be pretty awesome. We'll see where things go from here...

We also put on a branch activity this week, and we had an amazing turnout of 17 people (Considering that the usual Sunday turnout is 3 or 4, that's absolutely miraculous). We did a live-action version of Lehi's Dream where people were blindfolded and told to follow the Iron Rod to the Tree of Life. Along the way we had various temptations like English practice and delicious-looking/smelling food that wasn't, and we had people in the Great and Spacious Building who laughed and tried to get everybody else off the path. It took forever to plan and set up, but apparently it was enjoyable, and that's good enough for me.

In any case, that's basically all that I've got for you this week. Enjoy your turkey, think of me when you're in the stores at 5:00AM on Friday, and remember that  I love you.

-Sister Read

Another week has come and gone and I feel like I just wrote to you people yesterday.

But, because today is, apparently Monday once again, I guess I can think of a few more things to say. So. I've been meaning to say Happy Birthday to Chickenlegs since his birthday passed... what, three weeks ago? And I've only just gotten around to it, mostly because I remembered that Bryant's birthday is tomorrow. So. Hippo birdies Bryant, and Hippo belated birdies Chickenlegs. Sniff. They all grow up so fast...

Oh, and also: thank you thank you thank you for the package once again. I'd completely forgotten that there is such a thing as Sour Patch Kids in the world, and it was a wonderful wonderful thing to rediscover them once again. Thank you also for the nylons and the insoles (although admittedly the nylons probably won't be getting worn any time soon, but it's the thought that counts, right? I guess that means I'll actually have something to wear home. At the rate my clothes are slowly falling apart though, I get the feeling I'll be coming home in pants and a T-shirt, because those are the only things that haven't seen much use. But I digress). I don't actually remember what else was in there, but I'm grateful for it nonetheless. Life is always more fun with packages.

I must say, you did much better with the whole giving-of-the-bad-news thing this time, although I guess I should probably clarify things just a little bit. Getting bad news is not something that particularly bothers me. (Actually, I think this probably applies to any missionary anywhere.) What's not so fun is getting bad news that I know I can't actually do anything about. See also: not knowing what the outcome is either (incidentally, I've recently come to the realization that I narrate my life as though I'm writing a dictionary. Is that a sign of insanity? Should I be adding synonyms and using the international phonetic alphabet to help you all pronounce things?). What is a stent, anyway? I'll be keeping Grandpa in my prayers (along with Grandma Read and everybody else) though, of course.

So. Let me tell you about my week. ... Okay! Wasn't that fun? Haha, I kid. We did more than that. A bit, anyway. We had an interesting lesson with a couple of investigators where we spent the first half hour talking about the meaning of the word "love" (apparently I have to be more careful with my limited Russian vocabulary) and then they practically demanded the Book of Mormon at the end. "You realize that we can't just READ this book, right? We're going to have to compare it to the teachings in the Bible. And we're going to have to do some serious thinking about it. And probably ask God if it's true. Are you sure that's what you want to have happen?" Haha. Have I mentioned that I love being a missionary?

Later today I have to go and get myself re-registered again, because the last time we did it they put the wrong address on the form (I've been living with the Senior Couple all this time... who knew?) and now we have to go back and start the whole nasty process again. Hooray! I love government buildings! Actually, something tells me that Sister Volkova is going to have to do most of the work, seeing as how she's a native speaker and I'm just a filthy foreigner and all. Should be interesting to watch, though.

Anyway, I can't think of anything else that happened to me this week. We had Zone Conference, it was amazing. We're still working towards getting ten baptisms as a district. I haven't gotten sick in at least a month (and I intend to keep it that way). Things seem to be going fairly... normally.

I love you all, I'll keep praying for everybody, and I expect you to have an absolutely amazing week, with lots of delicious food (Thanksgiving is coming up sometime, isn't it?) and good entertainment. Good luck with the Stake production, and so forth.

Love,
Sister Read. [Seester Reed]. Noun. Generally found in the wilds of Eastern Russia.

Believe it or not, Daylight Savings Time really DOES exist in Russia

...And I must admit, it's a very very very nice thing to get an extra hour of sleep, even if it is only for one night. We actually turned our clocks back two weeks ago, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. Incidentally, I find it amusing that everybody still seems to be talking about fall as though it's still going on. That poor season ended weeks ago. Siiiiigh. The best things always go by the quickest. I do have a new debit card though (incidentally, my package arrived too. Thanks mom! I don't actually know what's in it, mostly because it was only just given to me, but it's here and it doesn't look like it's been tampered with, so I'm good to go) so I'll probably go out and get me a nice warm hat next week. Hooray!

So this week, because of course we're praying as hard as we can to get ten baptisms before the end of the year, and I'm convinced that because the Lord works in mysterious ways occasionally, we spent most of the week out on the street, contacting. Hooray! I'm not going to lie, it's still one of my favorite activities as a missionary because there are so many... interesting people out there. I love it. This week we started talking to a babushka who told us, "No, thank you. I'm not interested. You should try over the hill though. Lots of your brothers and sisters over there." When we asked who, exactly, our brothers and sisters were, she responded with the name of another church well-known for sending out missionaries and said again, "your brothers and sisters. They'll love you." When we told her that that wasn't actually who we were representing she said, "Oh. Well then. In that case, DON'T go over that way. It's a terrible idea! Don't do it!" Haha, I don't think I'll ever get enough of babushkas.

This week I was also given the English-Speaking test by a man on the street. Our conversation went something like this:

Him: "American, huh? What state?"
Me: "Oregon."
Him: "Uh huh. And you study...?"
Me: "At Brigham Young University."
Him: "Right, right. Let's get back to the location of your 'state'. Where is it, exactly?"
Me: "Well, you know California, right? And Washington? Oregon is right in between."
Him: "Right in between. Of course. [Here he began speaking what I'm sure he thought was English, but didn't actually register as anything I'd ever heard before.] What kind of accent do I have?
Me: "Russian."
Him: "Wrong! Really now, you should probably know - elders learning Russian are MUCH more fun to talk to than sisters trying to practice their English. You should stick to the things you know."

Ha. I'm amused. I wonder, however, if my American parents are aware that their American daughter who was born and raised in America is apparently Russian. Somebody should let them know at some point. Otherwise things could get terribly embarrassing.

In any case, that's apparently all that I have for you this week. So. Enjoy yourselves, have a wonderful week, try not to get sick, and remember that I love you.

-Sister Read.

Incidentally dad, I can't tell you how often I think of the Twelve Chairs when we're out and about. Mel Brooks definitely knew exactly what he was doing when he made that film. And that's all I have to say about that.

Happy Belated Halloween, or, as they like to say here, "No! I'm Russian Orthodox!"

October has officially ended and it's now November... ish. For me, at any rate. Wow, that feels like deja vu. Did I write the same thing last year? Guess you get to hear it again, in that case. Congratulations!

In any case, because I'll likely forget about it before I get to the end of my letter, and because there are apparently inquiring minds that want to know, I thought I'd pass along some very important information... ish. I haven't received any letters/packages for the last month, but I'm not entirely surprised about that one because we're stuck in Khabarovsk and for some reason Khabarovsk (despite the fact that it's a mainland city) has more trouble getting mail on a regular basis than Sakhalin does. I'm fairly certain I've probably got something sitting in the mission office right now, but I won't know for sure until Tuesday when and if the Zone Leaders bring it back from Zone Leaders Council on Tuesday. I have no idea what I want for Christmas either. Something light and easy to carry. See also: won't be too much of a bummer if I have to leave it behind when I fly home (which, incidentally, has been officially set for the 19th of February, because that's when transfers are and everybody goes home at the end of transfers. They may find me a cheaper flight sometime before that, but it'll be a difference of two or three days at most (they should be buying me a ticket within the next two weeks. I find that absolutely disgusting. I can't be almost three months away from my release date), so you can pretty much guarantee that I'll be home on the 19th. I forgot where else I was going with this tangent, so I guess that's all I have to say about that). Basically what I'm saying here is that anything you send me will be more than appreciated and I'll be absolutely okay with whatever... even if it's just an email. So. How many more random topics can I squeeze into one paragraph? I could tell you more about Sister Volkova. She's from Moscow and knows practically everybody who translates General Conference. Actually, I'm pretty sure she knows all the more-or-less famous members of the church in Russia. This is her... third transfer, so I guess she doesn't actually count as new anymore, but I'm only the second companion. We laugh a lot, and I'm pretty sure people on the street occasionally think we're insane, but I figure that's just a good sign of success. I have no idea how long I'll be serving with her, because at the end of this month (November, that is) there'll be another new sister coming in and that means we'll actually have an even number of sisters for once (!). Somebody's got to do some training, and while I'm almost certain it isn't going to be me, you never really know with these things. But. That's not the point.

In any case, this week I got to go and get myself officially registered. That was entertaining. If there's anything I've learned while being in Russia (yes, I'm aware that that list is already obscenely long), it's that government buildings, regardless of where they're located or what public service they offer, are basically the same everywhere: grey, dreary, and generally infused with the same sort of atmosphere you get at a funeral - that is, people moving around slowly, talking in whispers, and the occasional condolence to the bereaved. Not a place I'd like to spend any more time, but I get the feeling it's going to happen again before I leave the city. Hooray!

I also made another new friend this week. And he prayed for us... very interestingly. We stopped to talk to him and he asked us if we believed in spiritual gifts, like, for example, the gift of tongues. I told him yes, we do believe that such gifts exist, but not exactly in the same way that other people do. As far as we're concerned, all spiritual gifts ought to be used for the benefit of others - the gift of tongues, for example, would be more likely manifest in, oh say, an American missionary who could speak Russian in order to preach the gospel than in something only understood by the person speaking. He disagreed, and we continued talking to him for a few minutes more, but he wasn't much interested in meeting and we figured it would be better to end the conversation. Apparently he did too, because he told us that he would pray for us (to which we of course responded, "Thank you. And we for you") and then offered his hand as though he wanted to shake ours. We both automatically extended our hands and he grabbed them and began to pray. The first few words were nothing too out of the ordinary, but then... well. I have no idea what he said, and I know Sister Volkova didn't either, but apparently he did, and that was enough for him. Ha. He had our hands in a fairly firm grip, so we waited until he finished before we said "thank you" and walked away. Oh man. I love being on a mission.

In any case, that's all I've got for now. I expect you all to stay healthy, have a good week, and remember that I love you.

-Sister Read

What do you call snow on the 25th of October?

Khabarovsk, apparently. And it's early this year. Last year it at least had the decency to wait until Halloween. Oh well.

Today being PDay and all, Sister Volkova and I made our way over to the nearest... market... (I can't remember how it translates in English, okay?) where I was once again reminded that Russians may be the only people in the world who DON'T want you to buy their merchandise. Or at least, not the merchandise you want to purchase. If you'll take whatever's handed to you, that's fine, but don't even THINK about touching anything or they'll bite your hands off. I nearly lost three fingers today. On the plus side though, I did end up with a new pair of boots and a couple of pairs of earrings. That last one, for the record, is Sister Volkova's fault. She's worse than I am when it comes to sparkly things. The boots are... interesting, that's for sure, but they're comfortable and they keep my feet warm, so I guess that's all I really need in life. I wanted to get myself a fur hat as well (for the record, they really do keep your head nice and warm in the winter), but I didn't pull enough money out of my bank account and there were no ATMs nearby. Maybe next week. Or the week after. I'll send pictures when I actually get one.

This week we spent more time running around like chickens with our heads cut off, and therefore I consider us successful. We got a new investigator as a result of a referral from one of my investigators in Vlad, and he's awesome. President Pratt has also decided (through, I'm convinced, the medium of revelation) that we are no longer planting seeds, so we've got a goal of ten baptisms before the end of the year in our district. You're prayers, incidentally, would be appreciated in that. No wait, I need to rephrase that: Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for all the many many many prayers you send my way. Really. I don't know what I'd do without them. It's impossible to express the gratitude I have for all of you. And if you could add this one little thing, I'd be even more grateful. I'm pretty sure we're going to see miracles.

On Saturday we had Sports Night (which, I may add, I'm not entirely sure why we still continue, seeing as how it's a summer thing and summer ended... three months ago, but okay), which is a night where we invite all of our investigators and all the members with whom we're working and go and play some kind of sport for an hour. This week it was pouring, but none of the leadership (see also: elders) was in the mood to cancel, so we played frisbee in the rain. It was actually pretty fun, and we managed to stay warm as long as we kept moving. Good times, good times.

In any case, the computer has informed me that I have no time left. I love you all, I hope your week goes well, and I expect stories. See also: go to the temple, please?

-Sister Read

Legend has it there's another city in my mission

Turns out legend is right. Huh. Who knew? (Legend also says that there are actually FIVE cities in my mission, but I'm not sure I believe that.) Incidentally, I got transferred this week. Hooray! I'm now in the city of Khabarovsk (which I heard somewhere is a city well known for its extremes. It gets disgustingly hot in the summer and disgustingly cold (even the Russians think so) in the winter) for what looks like the duration of my mission. I think I may need to buy myself a new hat. I'm currently serving with Sister Volkova ("Volk" means "wolf" in Russian, just in case you wondered), which is still kind of strange to me because I'm so used to being in a threesome. Every time we go out on the street I keep looking behind myself to see where the third companion has gotten to, but I can't ever seem to find her. I guess this too will pass in time, though.

Speaking of the cold, today I thought I'd tell you about an interesting phenomena that I've become acquainted with here in Russia. It's called the spring/fall scarf. You wouldn't think that a scarf would be necessary in the late spring or early fall, but it is. Oh, it is. And only in a silly place like Russia would something like that actually be a necessity. Oh Russia. You're so silly. In any case, I'm glad Grandma Hyde sent me that one in the MTC, because it works quite well in this kind of weather. I expect to wear it another week before winter sets in.

This weekend we finally got to watch Conference. Hooray! Because we only had one copy of each session though, and because each session was recorded simultaneously in Russian and in English, and because the only non-missionary members who showed up for the Saturday morning session were men, I ended up watching the first session twice because we decided that it was more important for the members to see things in order than it was for us as English-speaking missionaries (I'm actually okay with that though, because I got more out of it the second time anyway) and because Sister Volkova didn't have anybody who could act as her companion until the afternoon session started. I'm not going to lie, I find it extremely amusing when the General Authorities (especially President Monson) start going off-script, but I feel a little bad for those who don't speak English because the translators generally have a hard time keeping up when that happens. It is nice to know that everybody is human though. Even the Prophet.

In any case, I can't tell you how happy I am to be in a new city. The sisters here (at least in comparison with what we had going in Vlad) have amassed themselves a TON of investigators, and there are plenty of others to meet with as well. We teach Institute/Seminary on Tuesdays (which should be interesting), and we have District Meeting over at the Rays' (who are the awesome senior couple here) each week, after which Sister Ray apparently does amazing things food-wise. Basically what I'm saying here is that things are going very very very well and can only keep on getting better.

So. Have a wonderful wonderful week, enjoy the cooler weather (try pulling out a fall scarf. You may enjoy it. HA) also known as FALL, and remember that I love you.

-Sister Read. Fashionable AND warm... ish. Mostly.

Now it's REALLY Fall. Hooray!

Parental units, beloved mine, I think now would be a good time to tell you that you don't exactly have the softest method for delivering what, if not exactly BAD, isn't exactly what I'd call GOOD news.  So I thought I'd give a little bit of advice here: if you're going to tell a missionary about some big event (generally of the negative variety) you might want to give a little bit more before you do so. Or do it in a less Blow-to-the-Face kind of way. Just a thought. Incidentally, how is Steven doing? No wait, he's actually included in the circle of Close Family. I'm allowed to ask him myself. How are you doing, Steven?

 

In any case, there was no sign of illness amongst the sisters in Vladivostok this week, but it is officially Fall and the leaves have turned colors to prove it. Hooray! We spent lots of time with people of the elderly variety this week, and of course that meant lots of food. I can't really say I'm complaining, obviously, because a meal with a member/investigator is generally much more tasty than the kind we make ourselves (well, sometimes at any rate), and much more exciting too. Especially when they pour you wine (investigators generally, but we do also have a few confused members living in our area. Ha) and insist that you drink it or they'll be terribly offended. We didn't, for the record, and thankfully they weren't, but I still had to laugh just a bit. One of our investigators made us fish soup (have I mentioned that we aren't allowed to eat fish here? Well we aren't. Too much pollution) and we spent the entire evening sneaking bits of fish to his cats under the table. We figured it was a win-win situation. He insisted that the soup be eaten entirely before we left, and the cats got a good meal out of it. It was actually good soup though, and I would've eaten the fish if we'd been at home.

 

We also found two new investigators this week thanks to the fact that one of our members opened her mouth and decided to share the Gospel. Actually, that's not technically true. We found ONE new investigator because her roommate decided to open her mouth and share the Gospel, and we found the second new investigator because his girlfriend mentioned to him that her roommate had introduced her to this interesting new church and he wasn't happy with that. At least not until we convinced him to meet with us. Then he was all for it. Ha. Life is funny sometimes.

 

Yesterday I was asked to give a talk in church (which, incidentally, I'd actually been given prior warning about. This is extremely unusual here), but I could've gotten out of it if I'd wanted to because the branch president began the meeting by saying, "I can't find the paper that says who's supposed to be speaking today. So. All those who prepared a talk, please be so kind as to let me know now by raising your hand." HA. I would've kept my hand down, but that would've meant that the only other person who raised her hand would've had the whole meeting for herself... and I didn't think I could do that to her. Plus I'd already prepared. I figured it would be better to give my talk now than next week (okay, two weeks. Next week is General Conference. Hooray!). Or some other time when I'd be completely unprepared. I guess it went off okay though. Nobody threw anything at me, anyway.

 

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. I love you all, I expect that you're all enjoying the Fall (yay! Fall!), and don't worry, this doesn't mean that I don't want to know what's going on. On the contrary, actually. I'm always interested in hearing the latest. See also: please to be enjoying yourselves this week.

 

-Sister Read

MP3 player? What MP3 player?

To the inquiring minds who want to know:

As much as I would love to have MP3 music to copy onto my MP3 player, it really wouldn't actually be much of a success because I don't actually HAVE an MP3 player. And I probably won't until sometime after I get home from my mission. Although of course I wouldn't be opposed to receiving one at some point...

Oh, and also, please pass along a thank-you to all of those wonderful wonderful people who make many many contributions to my mission fund. I really really really appreciate it. Mom, you can tell Sister Little that I will of course get right on getting myself a new pair of boots (at some point, anyway, but she doesn't need to know that), but she doesn't need to worry about my coat because the one I bought last year is actually very good quality (heat-wise, anyway) and I don't need to replace it. But I am very very grateful for her concern for my well-being and will do my best to spend my money better... or something. Basically what I'm trying to say here is "Thank You." To everybody.

It seems to me that all I ever talk about these days is me getting sick. So. I won't tell you about how I got sick this last week. I'll just tell you that I took a very nice, very long three-day nap. And my companions decided to stay inside for three days as well. Actually, that isn't entirely true. They started to go a little stir-crazy around Thursday-ish so they called one of the members and she agreed to come and sit with me for a couple of hours while they went out contacting. And here I was thinking that I was too old to be babysat. Guess we all live and learn. In any case though, the long nap period has passed and I'm pretty sure I'm back to at least 85%, and that's good enough for me. I'm a little tired of staring at the rugs nailed to the wall (I'll give the Russians this - it does make for cheap insulation) in our bedroom, and we need to be doing more work.

Sister Lewis, Sister Bodell, Sister Read

Yesterday was the one-year (I like hyphens today, okay?) mark of my arrival in Russia, and I'm feeling very deja-vu ish as a result, especially because I'm still in Vlad. I've only ever been able to stay off of Sakhalin for up to 6 weeks at time though, so I'm expecting a transfer back that way in the next couple of days or so. Actually, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to end up in Khabarovsk at some point, which, because it's the coldest city in the mission in the winter, I suspect means that I'm going to have to buy myself lots more wool socks and a new pair of gloves as well. Incidentally, all of that was not the point I was trying to make when I started this paragraph, but now I can't remember what I WAS going for. So. There you have it. I think I've officially gone insane... or something.

The Rain in Sakhalin Doesn't Stay Mainly In The Plain!

The other day we were on the street contacting and I started talking with a woman who was passing by. She looked like she might be interested in hearing about families, so I started to tell her about the blessings the Gospel brings, and about how families can be together forever. She looked at me kind of funny for a second and then said, "Huh. How nice. I'm in the middle of a divorce, so... probably not on that one. Thanks anyway." Ha. Luckily for me, she was interested in hearing more about the Book of Mormon, and gave us her number before she left. I was expecting something like that to happen to me at some point, and I guess it could've turned out much worse. I just had to laugh anyway though.

Soaked shoes, a missionary's major pain.

Sister Tolmachova, Sister Read, Sister Lewis. The Terrible Threesome.

Anyway, I think that's about all I've got this week. Enjoy yourselves (and the Fall!), stay safe, and remember that I love you.

-Sister Read.

Oh, and what the heck. Have some pictures. There's one of me and Sister Lewis and Sister Bodell (one half of the Office Couple. I love her), one of the rain on Sakhalin (and that was by far not the worst of it), one of what apparently happens to my shoes when they get soaked, and one of my ridiculous companions, who I'm pretty sure were making fun of the way I stand on occasion. Enjoy.

The computer can't keep up with my fingers today

So if while you're reading this you happen to see a word that looks li ke thi s, just assume it's something in Russian and not to be understood by the filthy capitalists anyway. Or it could be your imagination, I suppose. Either way.

 

On Saturday we had a branch activity where we hiked up to a spot in the middle of a forest just north of the city, spent an hour cleaning up beer bottles and other pieces of trash, and then had a picnic and played picnic-y games like throwing a volley ball back and forth in a great big circle and watching as the elders held competitions with some of the members to see who could run down the very steep hill fastest. I must say, it is quite nice to see that all the usual customs and formalities are observed for branch activities everywhere, including sausages which take forever to cook on the skewers in the fire and a branch presidency member who insists on doing a spiritual thought as soon as all the food is ready to eat. The church really is true everywhere.

 

In any case, hiking into the Russian Forest meant wearing something other than the usual proselyting skirts (for us, at any rate. As far as I know, the elders are still required to wear slacks when they're out preaching), and that meant putting on pants, and that was weird. When I started my mission I would've done anything if it meant I didn't have to wear a skirt (even if it was for only an hour or two at a time), and now I don't think I can function properly without one. Plus the pants I brought don't fit like they should, so I finally broke down and took them to a tailor today (which for some reason is really cheap here. Guess I'll find out why when I get my pants back in a couple of days). Sigh. Life is so hard sometimes.

 

All of that, however, was not the story I wanted to tell you this week. This week I wanted to tell you about how President gathered all five of us sisters in the mission and had a special three-day Sisters' Conference with him and Sister Pratt in the mission home (which happens to be President's appartment, seeing as how the mission home burned down several years ago and they still haven't gotten around to rebuilding it/buying a new one, if they ever will). Hooray! Sister Pratt made lots of delicious food and we had lots of discussion/training about how to become better teachers, with practice time afterwards. I highly enjoyed myself, and I'm pretty sure the other sisters did too, although I'm still feeling the effects in my throat because I (as Sister Lewis put it) "spent three days talking non-stop." Sister Volkova, who is from Moscow and is currently serving in Khabarovsk, doesn't speak very much English, and therefore needed a translator. Just in case you're wondering, it takes a whole lot of thought to translate what somebody else is saying so that the message makes sense and carries the same point, while still keeping up with what's coming next. I discovered that it's easier to go from your native language to a foreign one though, because then you can at least figure out what the speaker's getting at... mostly, anyway. Basically what I'm saying here is that I think I may have found my profession in life, or at the very least my retirement hobby, because I don't think I've ever enjoyed myself while talking so much as I did last week. I'll look in to that when I actually have to get around to choosing a focus for my major.

 

That's all you get today. I love you all, I hope you're all preparing properly for General Conference, and I expect stories, as usual. Pleaseandthankyou.

 

-Sister Read. No title today.

If nothing else, at least you know it's warmer than in Vlad

Today, in case you hadn't noticed (this is for you silly people on the other half of the globe who still think it's Sunday), is Monday. Do you know what that means? Did you guess finding celery at random in a supermarket (which in and of itself is extremely unusual. Like, extremely unusual. Generally we buy our food at indoor markets where they practically kill you if you even THINK about picking out/touching any of the food for yourself. You may have it handed to you, thank you) in Russia (I've never seen it before today) and deciding to make soup with it? Well, you'd be right. Yay! Soup! I think I'll make chicken noodle, mostly because chicken is the only meat I actually recognize here (not my fault, for the record), and also because Sister Lewis is feeling under the weather and could probably use something vaguely American to eat today. No, I don't care to know that chicken noodle isn't actually American. It sounds American, and that's enough for me.

 

On Tuesday I had another quarterly trip to Korea, and because we were there on Tuesday/Wednesday, they had a special 6:00 am session at the temple and that meant that I got to go twice in the 36-hour period that we were there. I also bought myself more earrings (have I mentioned that those for me are like ties for the elders? Well they are. It's the only thing can change in my wardrobe, and I'm going to take advantage of it), and because I found a place that sells them for about 85 cents a pair, I'm slowly amassing a very large collection for myself. I figure that since I'm not overly fond of souveniers anyway, if I'm going to get myself something I might as well get something I'll use in the future. And if I can find myself many things I'll use in the future, well... okay then.

 

Sister Tolmachova doesn't have to get her visa renewed, obviously, so she got to spend the time we were in Korea hanging around the office playing translator for President and working the Russian Underground System to get him a parking lot near the church. I'm sure he would've had the Assistants do it normally, but it just happened to work out that they were both in Korea with me at the time, and in any case it's always easier to get things done when you've got a native speaker involved.

 

Anyway, the computer just warned me that I have five minutes left, which I think is horribly unfair because I had about a million other things to say. Fine. I guess you'll just have to wait until next week. I love you all, I hope you're staying safe and wet (yay! Fall!), and I expect you to have entertaining stories for me next week.

 

-Sister Read. American... ish.

Apparently the unexpected tends to happen on a mission... occasionally

Well. I don't remember if I told you about it last week, and if I didn't then it was a ridiculous oversight on my part. But. On Sunday when we got to church we found out that we'd been given an investigator who was not only completely golden, but who already had a baptismal date and was scheduled to be baptized the following Saturday (that is, two days ago). She'd met the missionaries in Nakhodka and was supposed to be baptized there before she moved to Vlad to continue her studies, but for logistical reasons the baptism didn't work out on the day it should have, and it was pushed back another week. Basically what I'm saying here is that we had a baptism this week (hooray!), and it was by far the easiest baptism I've ever had... sort of. Teaching-wise, anyway. We had to do a lot of negotiating to bring the branch presidency around to to it (for various and sundry reasons but which basically boiled down to the fact that they didn't know her and weren't convinced that she had a testimony. Once we got her acquainted with the Branch President though, he was more agreeable), which was horribly ironic in my opinion, but oh well. All's well that ends well... or something. I'm not going to lie, I wouldn't mind a few more of these kinds of baptisms in the future. ... Just not too many. It's nice to be able to see the fruits of your labors too.

 

In any case, my life continues on. We've got more streets to wander up and down on here in Vlad, and they don't all know me here, which means that contacting is a little more entertaining (although I'm not going to lie, street contacting is officially one of my favorite things to do anyway. So many hilarious people out and about... especially in the bigger cities). We can't split up the threesome as often as we might have on Sakhalin though, because here people try harder to walk off with one or both of my companions (and I mean this in a very literal sense. People are always in a hurry around here, and we're kind of stubborn. Generally what ends up happening is that one companion will stop and talk to somebody who is standing still (usually waiting for the bus) and the other companion will start up a conversation with a passer-by. If we aren't careful, we end up walking several hundred feet with the passer-by before we realize that the other two are still where we left them, and rapidly falling out of sight). It's amusing, when they aren't offering to marry us so that we can take them to America. Sister Tolmachova gets those especially often, and it cracks me up every time.

 

Incidentally, if you would be so kind as to pass on to President Dalton my thanks and my advice that if his niece is going to buy boots in America and not in Russia, she would be best off getting something extremely warm and cheap, because in all likelyhood they're going to fall apart towards the end of her first winter, and she'll probably end up having to buy more anyway, that would just be peachy. Incidentally, I may or may not be buying new boots this winter...

 

But that's all I've got for now. Fall has almost begun, the sun is still shining, and I'm officially okay with all of that. Enjoy yourselves this week, and remember that I love you.

 

Oh yes, and thank you mom, for that hilarious description of your shopping trip with dad: "I went into the shops and Dad sat outside and read his book. It was a win-win situation." Ha. Gosh, is this my family, or what?

 

Much love,

Sister Read

Why do the mosquitoes even bother biting the bottom of my toes? It's not like there's anything worth their effort there...

Today, apparently, is Labor Day. Aren't you all so proud of me for knowing that? Actually, I'm not going to lie, I only know that because we had two new missionaries (no sisters until November, siiiiiigh) fly in on Saturday, and they can't get into the consulate today because it's closed. Huh. Who knew that consulates actually celebrated the holidays? In any case, happy Labor Day everyone. I hope you're all prepared for school to start tomorrow.

 

And, for the record, I am officially homeless no longer. I never was to begin with of course, but that is entirely beside the point. President decided that it would be easier to find an apartment in some other missionaries' area in Vlad, and so we moved back into the same apartment that we had before we left. This means that I've had a grand total of two areas on my mission. Hooray! I don't know if I can actually call it the same apartment though, because when we got in late Tuesday night I didn't even recognize it. The floors were filthy, it smelled funny, and there was junk all over the place. The best part though, was that there was a huge swarm of fruit flies in the kitchen (some of them stuck to the strips of fly tape which was strung up like christmas decorations all around the room) and a little note that said, "Dear Sisters: Sorry about the flies... We don't know where they're coming from." Which had been signed by the elders, presumably before they abandonded ship earlier that day. I was too tired to bother with them, and the elders swore that the sheets were clean, so I went to bed. The next day we decided it wouldn't hurt to spend some time getting things back in order, or at least trying to discover the source of all the flies, so we spent a couple of hours scrubbing and gathering things to be thrown out. Around mid-morning ish Sister Tolmachova discovered the source of all the flies when she opened a cupboard that had been blocked by bottles of emergency water. I'm assuming that at some point the bag that she pulled out had contained perfectly normal ordinary vegetables. After a couple of months in a blocked-off cupboard though, they had turned into something completely unrecognizable which was oozing brown goo. Ick. Needless to say, we didn't spend much time examining it. The funny thing is though, that once we got rid of the vegetables and all the other trash lying around, both the funny smell AND the flies just disappeared. How on earth could that have happened? Basically what I'm saying here is that I will never ever ever loan my apartment to a pair of elders again. Like really, never again.

 

In any case, I tried writing to President today and the computer ate my letter, so I suppose I'd better get going and write him another one. Enjoy your week (especially the fact that it's fall!), and try not to get into too much trouble.

 

I love you all,

Sister Read

What do you call a sister missionary with no place to live? No, I don't know either.

Dear family family family family family family family,

 

Actually, it isn't quite as bad as that yet. After all, we haven't actually gotten into Vlad yet, and we don't actually know that we have no place to live. I'm ready to go out panhandling if need be though. The landlady wants us to pay several thousand roubles before we leave tomorrow and as of this moment in time it still hasn't appeared in my MSF account. On a completely unrelated note incidentally, don't be surprised if you see lots of money disappear from my personal account before the week ends. On the plus side though, I hear begging on the street corners is actually a very efficient way to find new investigators. No, I lie. I haven't actually heard that, but I figure it's got to be worth a shot though, right? Who wouldn't want to talk to a pair of poor homeless American sisters and their native companion? I for one would be all for that.

 

In any case, as I said, we're leaving tomorrow and that meant that we got to spend all day today packing up the apartment. It's amazing how much junk accumulates even in a Mission apartment after several years. Or maybe that should be ESPECIALLY in a Mission apartment. People leave the silliest things behind. I realized, for example, that the bowl that we use as a candy dish was actually made for an elder who served on Sakhalin a long while back, and it was made by his girlfriend who, I'm convinced, later Dear Johned him. Ha. Good days. It was a very useful bowl though. Such a shame that we had to throw it in the garbage. We did manage to get everything properly boxed-up and/or thrown away though. Now the only thing I'm wondering is where Sister Tolmachova and I are going to sleep tonight, seeing as how the elders came and stole our mattresses and everything (which reminds me, incidentally. The bed bugs weren't, thank goodness. Just a mild case of fleas that went away as soon as the mosquitos started showing up again). Guess the floor's as good as anything. I'll be sure and vacuum a couple dozen times before I go to bed tonight.

 

The temple dedication was amazing, of course. They hooked up the satellite in the church building (yes, they do actually have those in Russia apparently) and they had it broadcast in both English and Russian. President Monson, President Uchtdorf, and Elder Nelson were all there, and they all gave great talks, of course. At one point Elder Nelson started to bear his testimony in Russian (I didn't even know he knew Russian), but since we were watching it in English the silly translator decided to translate for us and we couldn't hear him speak. Lame. Oh well. It was a still a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon anyway. One of the branch members was in Ukraine during the dedication, and she got to go up and put mortar in the cornerstone. Of course the branch was just thrilled to death about that. It was definitely good for them to see a temple get dedidcated this close to them(relatively speaking, obviously. Ukraine isn't Russia and hasn't been for many years, and the Vladivostok Mission isn't in the Kiev temple district anyway, but still. It's a temple where at least half of those serving within actually speak Russian). Hopefully this will get them more excited about building up the church here so that they can have their own temples. I hear Moscow's actually pretty close to a stake though, incidentally. Apparently we just need to find a few more here who'll get baptized and then move over in that direction.

 

Anyway, that's about all that I've got for now. Congratulations dad on getting to sing Rachmaninoff in Russian (send me a copy! I want to hear it!), oh and please pass along a "get well quickly or else" to Grandma Read. She has officially been forbidden from being in pain as of this moment. I sent her a real letter last week, but she probably won't get it for another month or two at the least. But. It will get there.

 

 I love you all, I hope you're all trying to stay safe while preparing for school (yay! School!), and please be sure to enjoy the not-as-warm-as-Vlad weather in Oregon this week. Ha.

 

-Sister Read. Homeless, homeless.

Yesterday I turned 22-and-a-half years old, just in case you all wondered

And that's a huge milestone on a mission. I'm practically ancient. Incidentally, speaking of random not-on-the-transfer-date transfers, next week I'm being transferred again. Guess where? Did you guess Vladivostok? HA. Did not see that one coming. Nope. What happened this time, you see, is that when we arrived on Sakhalin we were informed that our landlady (despite the fact that our contract actually extends until November and it's really totally illegal for her to be doing this... but then again, this is Russia and we're just a couple of foreigners already under suspicion from the government for practically teaching English (they didn't, for the record) so basically she's able to do what she wants and we don't really want to put up a fight about it) intends to move into our apartment herself, on the first of September. Apparently she doesn't want to live with us (dunno why), and that means that we should have already found an apartment by now. The only problem is that apparently it's even harder to find an apartment in Yuzhno than it is in Vlad, and so to this day they're still looking. So. As of Tuesday next week we must absolutely have all of our stuff out of our apartment and evenly divided amongst the elders and we ourselves will be on a flight back to Vlad, where, if things don't actually work out in getting an apartment by the next day, we may be staying with President. Or on the street. Either way. At the very least, it's still warm out, and we've got plenty of supplies to keep us warm and fed. Ha. I'm so amused. Maybe someday I really will get to see other cities in the mission. President told me that if I really wanted to I could parachute out of the plane before we got to Vlad and just walk the rest of the way from wherever I landed. Then I'd really get to see more of Russia. I think I may just take him up on that offer. Now I just need to find an airline that will allow me to do that. Shouldn't be too much of a problem.

 

I've officially decided (and if I've said this once already, well, just go ahead and pretend like it's the first time... per usual, in other words) that I'm going to go to the temple at least once a week when I get home. The Kiev dedication is this upcoming Sunday, and although it doesn't actually make getting to the temple any easier for the members over here, it is still a temple in a half-Russian-speaking country and that is a huge thing. They'll be doing a satellite transmission of the dedication into our building, so we've been trying to get all the members pumped for it. Not that they really needed our help, obviously, but still. We've made sure that they know exactly when it's going to be, at the very least. And they'll all have cute little dedication recommends to keep as souveniers. It's very very very very very very exciting. Yay! New temples! I hear they've nearly got a stake in Moscow, and I'd say that that's a definite possibility because a whole ton of people who get baptized here end up moving in that direction soon afterwards.

 

What else is going on in my life right now? Not much out of the ordinary, I think. We've actually got people to teach, a fact for which I will always be eternally grateful, maybe even to the point of actually giving referrals to the missionaries when I get home (I'm still not sure about that one, though. I may have to think about it some more. And now that I've said that I'm sure we're going to go through another dry spell ourselves. Oh well. If pride comes before the fall I want to make sure that it's going to be as adrenaline-filled as possible. Ha. I kid, really). My companions and I regularly have silly conversations that end with things like, "So what you're saying then, is that the war in heaven was just one big baseball game?" "Yes, and we won by the power of our testimonies!" And the work goes forward. And to think that there was a point in my life when I wasn't sure that I wanted to serve a mission. Ick. Think (well I guess you can't. I will instead) of all the things I might've missed out on.

 

In any case, that's all for now, folks. I love you, I assume your week went well (no news is good news, yes?), and I expect you to have an even better one this week.

 

-Sister Read. Yo-yo.

Speaking of things that they say to you when you sneeze

In Russia they don't mince around with things like, "bless you." (Have I mentioned this before?) They go straight for the command effect and tell you, "Be Healthy!" Works for me, actually. Every time I hear it though, I always feel like there's going to be an "or else" directly following it. Hasn't happened yet, but I figure it's only a matter of time. I think the invisible bugs are starting to go away at last though, and I'm more than okay with that. Unfortunately, they seem to have been replaced by visible ones. No cockroaches in our apartment yet (thank goodness), but I have a sneaking suspicion that we've got fleas, or possibly bed bugs, hanging around somewhere because I wake up every morning covered in little itchy bites. I think I'm ready for winter again.

 

I can't actually remember what I was going to tell you this week. Oh yeah, we had an investigator who was completely golden at the beginning of the week (had read through the Book of Mormon in less than 6 days, and marked all of his favorite scriptures) and then jumped off the deep end when the week finished. Interesting people on a mission. Have I mentioned this? In any case, we've still got a few with good potential (now I feel like I'm reporting to President Pratt) and we'll keep working with them.

 

Incidentally, Christopher actually wrote me a letter this week. An email, actually. I guess that means I should respond to him at some point. I'm so excited to find out what it was that he found for me in the middle of the desert. I can only assume it's going to be just as big of a hit as the giant Brazilian spider and the scorpion suckers (incidentally, my companion never did eat hers. Can't imagine why. Come to think of it, I don't think I did either. And incidentally incidentally, apparently it's still free to send me DearElders because this is officially a Hardship Mission and they want us missionaries to have all the home support we possibly can, or something. I don't actually know if it is free, but I guess it can't hurt to check it out, right? I'm never against more letters... even if I am terrible at writing them myself. Just a thought for you all. You know, just in case.

 

In any case, since I still can't remember what I was going to tell you about this week (it came, it went, and as of Thursday this upcoming week I am officially coming home in six months and that's just disgusting. I can't have been out for more than a year already) so I'll give you a few amusing anecdotes about one of the most amusing places in Russia, namely: The Post Office.

 

Back when I was serving with Sister Ivanova, she wanted to send a letter to somebody who lives in America. We went to the Post Office, found an empty window, and asked how much it would cost to send a letter to America. The lady at the window responded, "Not within my range of service. You want Window 7." So we walked over to Window 7. "A letter? to America? No, no, no. We only handle letters to former Russian territories. You need Window 3. Information." So we stood in line at Window 3 (where, for the record, the word, "Information" was not written anywhere within visibility range) for ten minutes and finally got to ask, "How much to send a letter to America?" "22.5 roubles, but we don't sell those stamps at this window. You need Window 4. Oh wait, Window 4 is closed today. Window 2, then." Window 2 did indeed have the stamps that we needed, but they wouldn't let us purchase them without an envelope and then they wouldn't let us stick them on the envelope ourselves. Ha. Oh, Russia.

 

Another time, Sister Kovalevskaya wanted to send an already-prepared letter off and was told, "we aren't accepting letters to be sent right now. Come back in an hour."

 

Then, about a week or two ago, Sister Lewis wanted to buy 20-rouble stamps at a different Post Office here on Sakhalin. She got up to the counter and told the lady that she needed a sheet of 20-rouble stamps, another sheet of 3-rouble stamps, and a third sheet of .10-rouble stamps. The lady went back into what I assume was the storage area, stood around for about 30 seconds and then came back and said, "We aren't carrying 20-rouble stamps." So Sister Lewis asked, "Okay, what about 10-rouble stamps?" The lady went back in again, stood around, and came back out. "Nope. None of those." Well then. "Do you have 5-rouble stamps?" Back she went, and another 30 seconds later we hear, "Nope, none of those either!" I think Sister Lewis had had enough by that point, because she said, "okay, fine. I'll just take the 3-rouble stamps then." (Mind you, it costs 9 roubles to send a letter throughout Russia, and therefore in theory there should be an abundance of 3-rouble stamps everywhere. Even on Sakhalin.) "Nope, sorry. We're all out of those too." Haha. Oh man. I love this system.

 

Welp, I guess that's all you get for this week. I love you, try to keep safe, and... go to the temple for me. Please?

 

-Sister Read

Did I mention that August is Sick Month?

Really now. I think they need to make it a national holiday or something. I thought I had food poisoning on Wednesday of last week. Then when it hadn't gone away yesterday I finally gave in and called Sister Pratt. Apparently it isn't food poisoning, because all of the elders and President Pratt had it in Vlad. That means they shared. Hooray! In any case, we've been officially put on lock-down mode for 24 hours (except for buying groceries and writing home. You should feel so privileged that you're getting a letter from me this week), and I get to eat clear liquids and rice. Yay! It's a good thing it's raining today. Maybe I'll go and get some hand-written letters out. It's only been about 10 years since I last sent one, right?

 

On a happier note, the Jones family invited the Bondar family over for dinner last Friday, and since the former aren't quite fluent in Russian (although I'll give Sister Jones this - she's getting there) and the latter don't speak much English, we got invited along as Official Translators/Missionary Presence. Admittedly, we weren't actually needed as Missionary Presence, given that both families are extremely active members in the branch, but you just never know when a non-member might show up unexpectedly. That was the logic I was partially banking on, at any rate. Sister Jones made ribs (delicious) and salad and spinach dip and cookies with ice cream and it was all extremely delicious. Can we have red meat when I come home? I know pork doesn't actually count as red meat, but that's what it reminded me of. In any case, I figure the evening was a success, because there was conversation and laughter pretty much for the entirety of the meal. I'm not going to lie, it always impresses me how much people can communicate with those who don't speak their language. I don't think they actually needed a tranlator. Amazing what knowing a few words and playing charades will do for you.

 

I also made a new friend this week. He tried to steal my Book of Mormon (didn't try. Did steal, actually. It's always easier just to give them up than try to hold on to them. Seems like keeping them for myself defeats the point of handing them out anyway) and then stood and stared at me for a full minute without saying anything. I tried to engage him in conversation, but he didn't reply so we decided to head off and find somebody a little more receptive. I guess that wasn't what he had in mind though, because he followed along beside me and started repeating to himself, "American. She's American. Ameeeeeeerican." Another case of deja vu for me, apparently. We managed to shake him off eventually though, and he even gave back the Book of Mormon before he left. All's well that ends well, I guess. Or Something. In any case, I think I've nearly hit my limit of talking to strange people on the street. When I get home in February I won't be continuing this tradition. Just so you know.

 

Anyway, that's all you get this week. I love you, try not to inhale the smoke (incidentally, the air's been quite clear here the last few days. Quite lovely), and don't catch whatever's going around these days.

 

-Sister Read

August showed up this week. I don't think anybody's really noticed.

I feel like I should be singing a song of some sort. Something merry and sunshine-y. Maybe it's because the sun is actually shining outside and the temperature actually feels like it's summer outside. I won't go so far as to say August, but it is summer all the same. Hooray!

We got together with the district today and watched The Other Side of Heaven. Kinda helps to put things in perspective I guess, but still. John Groeberg definitely did not serve in Russia in 2010, and I obviously am not serving in Tonga in the 50's. Hooray! I'd write my own memoir about what happens here, but something tells me if they made a movie out of it it'd be more of a comedy than a drama. I think I'm okay with that, actually.

Just in case you wondered, and per usual I know that you did, August is sick month. I don't know why. But it is. One of the elders caught a nasty cold and then passed it along to me. That put me down for a day or two, and then just as I was starting to feel like I could actually spend a little more time in the rain, I passed it along to Sister Lewis and things started all over again. Luckily Sister Tolmachova (incidentally, did I mention that we're still serving in a threesome? Well we are. And we probably will be until November, because we just had a new sister come in two weeks ago (making the grand total of sisters in the mission 5) and they don't like to have people trained in threesomes. Makes things a little difficult, apparently. Basically what I'm saying here is that we'll probably be in a threesome and on Sakhalin until November, when we get another new sister (that means six sisters. Six! We've only had an even six for one transfer... and that was because Sister Kovalevskaya went home a transfer late instead of a transfer early). Should be entertaining) didn't manage to catch it (yet) so things are looking like they'll be clearing up soonish. Another two or three weeks, I'm sure. In the meantime, I'm playing faucet, and I'm trying a new contacting method I call "Snuffle at them until they give in and give us a number." I'm enjoying it, at least.

We also had Zone Conference this week, which was awesome, of course. Since they created districts within the zones, Sakhalin and Khabarovsk are officially located in one zone, and that means we get conferences together instead of separately. Last transfer Sakhalin missionaries flew into Khabarovsk, and that meant that this transfer it was Sakhalin's turn to host. And since (for the first time in the entirety of my mission) all the sisters are actually located in one Zone, we had our own little party all together on Friday, in our tiny little apartment. Good times. It was definitely weird having all the sisters in the mission together though. I'd forgotten what it was like to have that many people (yes, five is a lot) sleeping all in one apartment. Cozy, yes. And also slightly hilarious, at least for me. We only have the one bathroom (obviously), and there are two (only two) mirrors located in the apartment. That made for lots of very careful negotiating and very polite twisting and turning around one another in order to see ourselves as we did hair/makeup/whatever else other sisters get up to and happen to need a mirror for. I laughed, but mostly quietly. We did manage to make it to Conference on time though, much to my personal surprise. Miracles do happen.

Anyway, that's all I've got for you and it's too warm (!) in this building. I love you all, have a good week, and try not to get too much in the way of sunshine this week.

-Sister Read

July July July July July July

Something tells me that Cyn's got a birthday coming up tomorrow. I'm not really sure what. Maybe it was the email she sent me with 50000000000000 exclamation marks. I dunno. In any case, pass along a happy birthday pleaseandthankyou.

 

In any case, and just in case you're wondering, we had a Finding Week this week. Hooray! It's a good thing the weather's warmed up somewhat. People hate talking to us in the rain. Incidentally, that reminds me of one of my favorite "I Can't Meet" excuses that people give us when we try to set up appointments with them. This one was used by a potential investigator with whom we've been trying to meet for the last ten centuries at least: "Meet? Today? It's raining! I can't! It's bad news to go out in the rain!" Mind you, this is a people who, when the weather has dropped to about 30 below and there's a blizzard going at full blast, will bundle up their 2- and 3-month-old children and go out walking. Just for the heck of it. And they stay outside for HOURS. Of course. That's just snow. But once the rain gets started... oh no. No. Rain is dangerous. Ha. Oh Russia. I love these people. Needless to say, we didn't meet with her that day. But we did go out in the rain (against all sound advice) and we seemed to have survived... ish. I dunno. Maybe all our hair will fall out in 50 years as a result of this. Ha.

 

So we've got this investigator from one of the -Stans (that's another one of those amusing things about serving here on Sakhalin - the vast majority of our investigators aren't actually from Russia. A few are from the -Stans, one is from China, and we found another one this week from North Korea. He doesn't speak any Russian, and his English is so-so. Teaching is a lot of fun with him. And my charades are getting better.) who is really excited about our message. He came to church a couple of weeks ago and heard a talk about eternal families. Obviously this is a topic he likes, because he spent a lot of time telling us about it when we met with him again. He's also good at doing missionary work, at least in his own way. Almost every lesson we've had with him he's invited somebody else along. I don't know what he tells them to get them to come, though, because every time we ask if they've heard anything about us they respond with something like, "no, not really. I was just invited along." Welp. Works for me. We do a lot of first lessons with this investigator. And I'm okay with that.

 

In any case, apparently that's all you get this week... ish. Try to enjoy yourselves back at home (or wherever you happen to be) and remember that I love you.

 

-Sister Read (I've forgotten how to write that, apparently. It kept coming out 'Red.' Basically the same thing, right?)

Happy 19th

Today's got to be a holiday somewhere, even if it isn't in Russia (for once). In any case, To my dearly-beloved-and-travel-worn family:

 

I hope you all managed to enjoy yourselves on the extensive trip into the wildernesses of Utah and California. Dangerous places, from what I hear. Or possibly the only existing states (along with New York City, which is either a state or a city, nobody's really sure which) in the United States, if I go by what people on the street tell me. Utah's where all the Mormons live, right? Isn't that somewhere next to New York? I guess I can't really blame them for a lack of geographic knowledge, though. I know where Moscow, St. Petersburg, Omsk (that one is thanks to Sister Kovalevskaya. Every single English Club she'd introduce herself thus: "My name is Sister Kovalevskaya. I am from Omsk. Omsk is ze center of the world."), and vaguely where Vladivostok is... maybe. Everything else is just located somewhere to the west-ish.

 

I've told you about our Guard Babushka's, right? That's another one of those Russian Things. They all go out and gather around the entrances to the apartment buildings as soon as first light hits each day, and then they spend the whole day just standing around - sometimes alone and sometimes in groups - giving everybody who goes in or out the fish eye and,if he happens to be an unfamiliar face, demanding to know what he thinks he's doing here in OUR building and giving him a stern warning that he'd better Watch Himself. Or else. We've got about 5 who gather outside of our entrance on a daily basis, and luckily for us they've officially declared us Approved, at least as long as we don't go trying to do something ridiculous like trying to go out without a hat on or taking only a light coat in the summertime. Poor Sister Tolmachova had a run-in with one of them this week though, and although it was extremely hilarious, I didn't dare laugh out loud because I knew I'd risk certain death that way. Most of our Babushkas think that we're the sort of religious people who take confessions, so we spend a lot of time trying to tell them as politely as possible that of course we're grateful for their trust, but this just isn't our business; repentance is an individual matter.The other day one of them started telling us about how she'd gotten into an argument with the lady down the row, and as a result she'd been cursed with an unfortunate disease. We told her that it was unfortunate that she was going through this trial at this time, but we didn't think that it was divine punishment. Then Sister Tolmachova suggested, "but maybe it would be better for you to go and make up with that lady all the same." Oops. Obviously not the right words. "Me?! Make up with HER?! SHE's the one at fault here! SHE's the one who started it! I'M NOT AT FAULT! I CAN'T UNDO HER WRONGS! How DARE you suggest that I might be in the wrong!" Ah, well. Okay then. Guess there's that problem solved. We told her we'd pray for her and then walked away. As politely and non-threateningly as possible. Haha. I love Babushkas. They make my life entertaining.

 

Oh yeah, I got the package with the new memory card on Tuesday, which, needless to say, was a little surprising. I mean you'd only sent it less than a month before. In any case, thank you and Hooray! New pictures! Brother Noble went home for a couple weeks on Wednesday, and he before he left he kindly offered to send off (through the American Postal System) anything we wanted to get home a little quicker (and possibly a little safer as well). So I copied all my pictures onto my thumb drive and sent the flash drive with him. You should be getting it within the next couple of weeks, I hope. Of course it'd be extremely ironic if my flash card got lost, not in the Russian system, but in the American. I'd laugh, at any rate.

 

I guess that's all you get this week. Get some sleep, try to enjoy yourselves at home, and remember that I love you.

 

-Sister Read

A whole year gone by... almost

Welp. It's July again. I hope there's sunshine around somewhere.

 

I realized (ish. I can't exactly say that this is something new for me) this week that I've officially been in one area too long. We made a goal to start working with some of the investigators in the "Formers" section of the Area Book, so at the beginning of the week we looked through it to see if there was anybody with some potential. As we looked through it I made a very interesting discovery: the vast majority of the teaching records in there (and I mean the vast majority. There were only about six that didn't) had my name on them somewhere - either in the "Missionaries who began teaching" section or the "Reasons why the investigator chose to stop meeting with missionaries" section. Oh man. I'm amused. So of course we decided to start Round Two... at least with some of them. It'll be interesting, I'm sure.

 

I've decided that there are several benefits to working in a threesome, but I haven't quite decided if the benefits outweigh the negatives. Maybe they're equally balanced. On the plus side, when an investigator calls and says, "Let's meet in 10 minutes,"  we don't have to either (a) scramble to find a member who can get out to the church building in that amount of time or (b) tell the investigator "no" and then spend another ten years after that trying to set up an appointment that'll work for him and for us. In addition, when we go contacting, things are a whole lot more amusing, because when people see us coming we get the look of absolute terror a whole lot more than we used to than when it was just two of us. On the other hand, we get the look of terror a whole lot more than we used to, and people go farther out of their way to avoid us than they did before. And our living space is a little cramped. But that's okay! We're losing the apartment anyway, haha. Our landlady decided she wanted to move into the apartment herself come September, but of course she can't do that with a bunch of missionaries hanging around. Of course I laugh because, as you may recall (unless I didn't actually say so), keeping the apartment here was one of the reasons President sent us to Sakhalin in the first place. Life is so ironic.

 

So it sounds like you're all having lots of success in various and sundry parts of the world. Hope it isn't too hot. I'll be thinking about you all as I walk around in my coat again this week. Ha. Actually it isn't quite that cold. Not yet anyway. I think we've still got another week or so of summer before the temperature drops again.

 

But that's all you get today. I love you, enjoy yourselves, say hello and happy birthday to all who deserve it from me (incidentally, happy birthday tomorrow, grandma!), and try not to do too much relaxing. See also: give referrals to your local missionaries!

-Sister Read

Last week was Father's Day?

Man, I wish people would tell me these things sooner. In my defense, I have, as I've said on numerous occasions already, completely lost my sense of time as it pertains to anything other than the current activity that I'm involved in. As far as I'm concerned, it's still the 15th of July 2009, and I'm still stuck in Missionland. There's been a sort of vague awareness of time passing for those around me (the snow gives it away sometimes), but I'm still prepared to go out in summer gear. Speaking of which, the temperature has been delightfully warm all week, and even if it is raining today I'm still walking around without a coat on. What a strange feeling. The whole point I'm trying to make here though, and what I'm really getting at is, Happy Father's Day, dad! I guess it passed fairly successfully, and apparently that's all that counts.

 

So I had a whole paragraph written about calling unfamiliar members in my area, but then I decided that that's one of those only-interesting-to-me kind of things and deleted it. You're welcome. Speaking of amusing phone calls though, this is one I received from one of our babushkas. The same babushka, in fact, with whom I had the pleasure of riding to the hospital after she'd fallen and severely wounded her head ((it's all healed up, just in case you wondered). She called on Tuesday, right as we were heading to an appointment.

 

Her: Come over! One of the neighbors made me a cake, and I don't want it all. You need to come and eat it.

Me: Wow, a cake? How nice. Unfortunately, I don't think we'll be able to make it today. Thanks for the offer, though.

Her: What? Why? Too busy to eat cake with Baba Anna?

Me: Yes, unfortunately we've got an appointment that we're headed to right now. Maybe tomorrow--

Her: No. Tomorrow it'll already be three days old. Too long. An appointment with whom?

Me: An investigator.

Her: Well cancel it! What are you doing aterwards?

Me: We've got another appointment set up. And another one after that as well. I just don't think it's going to work out today, I'm sorry.

Her: You can't call the investigators and cancel them? Which investigators, anyway?

Me: Well, one is Valentina. Maybe you've seen her at church once or twice.

Her: Of course not! Tell her it's just not going to work out today!

Me: I can't just cancel appointments with investigators. Missionary work doesn't really work that way.

Her: [Exasperated sigh] Let me talk to Oksana (for the record here, Baba Anna is one of those people who will do anything to find out your name, and then she'll refuse to call you by anything but. If you're Russian, at any rate. I'm pretty sure she thinks my name is Read).

So of course I handed the phone over to Sister Tolmachova, and I hear Baba Anna asking the exact same questions while Sister Tolmachova gave the exact same answers I had. I guess it just sounds more reasonable coming from a native speaker, or something.

 

In any case, my time is all up and I'm starving. We were supposed to meet up with The District (we have districts. Ha.) and eat lunch, but somehow communication broke down somewhere in the middle and it never worked out. So. We're off to find our own lunch. You all have my permission to enjoy yourselves in the not-quite-as-warm-as-Vlad Oregon weather (if you happen to be located in Oregon, obviously. You can still enjoy it in some other state, but I don't think it's quite as effective), try not to eat too many strawberries, and of course remember that I love you.

 

-Sister Read. Cake-less. And serves me right.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood and not nearly as muggy as Korea

The sun is shining, the air is clear... ish, I just had a delicious lunch consisting of what could possibly be just carrots and garlic, but it was good in any case. And heck, just because I'm feeling generous ish, have a few pictures, on me. There's one of me and Sister Lewis, one of me in a very typical piece of Russian scenery, one of Sister Tolmachova and Oleg (who was baptized the first time I was in Vlad) and the peanut butter I bought for him in Korea, One of me and Sister Kapustina standing on the top of a mountain, and one of me and Sister Kovalevskaya doing what we did best - watching things bake in the oven. I figured it was about time you found out what my companions looked like. I guess in theory you could've already stalked them on Facebook, but what the heck. Enjoy yourselves... or something.

In any case, this week I spent time in Korea. And it was hot. But still awesome. Per usual. And actually not so much hot as muggy. Very muggy. I'd pretty much take a shower in the morning and come home still dripping at night. Ick. But for all of that, I spent a whole lot of time in the temple (pretty much all day on Thursday, which, incidentally, happened to be my year mark after going through. Not a bad way to spend it, all things considered. We did a session, initiatories, and then another 75 baptisms and confirmations each), ran around Seoul, and bought various and sundry World Cup souveniers for dirt cheap (Korea played - and from what I can gather, lost - on Thursday, so they were selling bright red (and occasionally badly translated, my favorite. I bought a jersey just for that) things everywhere). Good days, but not nearly as fulfulling (except of course for the temple) as the work I do here. I guess this is why they don't send us on tourism missions. Maybe.

Incidentally, and I'm a little fuzzy on today's exact date (looking at the bottom right-hand side of the computer is far too logical), but I get the feeling mom has a birthday coming up... Saturday ish. So. Happy birthday mom! Half a century already! I hope you're going to have an appropriately large get-together for this. With the attendant Old People Jokes. And the disgusting dentures.

Apparently I've officially spent too much time trying to decide which pictures to send, because my hour is up. I love you all, happy birthday mom!, have a good week, enjoy whatever weather you happen to have around there, and... go to the temple. Please?

-Sister Read