Welp. It's a new week and a new transfer, and I'm still here on Sakhalin for another 6 weeks. Hooray! Khabarovsk is a fun place to visit (for about 30 seconds), but it's a little too cold for me. Lovely ice sculptures though. Incidentally, Sister Ivanova informed me that when she called home, the temperature in her home city on Saturday was a balmy -40 C. I dunno what that translates into in normal-people measurements, but it certainly sounds ridiculously cold. Good thing I'm not in the Novosibirsk mission. I hear it gets all the way down to -70 C in some places. Ick.

So just in case you're wondering, children here are pretty much the same as children at home. We have a fairly big branch here on Sakhalin (usually about 45-60 people at Sacrament Meeting on Sundays), and there are two families with little girls under the age of 2. One of them, Varia, is the daughter of the Branch President. Her favorite thing to do is to run at high speed around the meeting hall while cackling madly. Then when her mother starts looking like she's going to get up and chase after Varia, Varia runs up on to the stand and throws herself into her daddy's lap, because she knows that mom won't follow her there. Then when she gets bored (22.7 seconds later), she runs back down into the congregation and demands (in her loudest not-quite-two-years-old voice) that the other little girl, Lana, hand over whatever toy she happens to be playing with at the moment. Of course Lana has no intention of doing any such thing, so what usually happens is that they both try to take it from one another by force. It's really quite amusing. Well, I think so at any rate. I dunno that her mom agrees.

Also for the record, Christmas day in Korea is about as exciting as Christmas day in Russia. See also, from what I could tell, they aren't even aware that it exists. Well no, okay, they're definitely more aware of it than the Russians (who partially don't recognize it because people who celebrate on the 25th of December are obviously dirty Catholics/Americans/Mormons/

FOREIGNERS/fill-in-your-own-derogatory-term-heres, and everybody knows that Christmas should properly come AFTER New Year, not before), but still. We spent the day wandering around the city-sized flea market (and I'm not even kidding about that one. This place was HUGE) and eating at On the Border. I'm sure there probably were people at home celebrating properly, but obviously we didn't see them, and therefore I'm going to go ahead and stereotype the entire nation based on my 2-and-a-half-days' experience there.

I'm pretty sure there was more I wanted to say here, but for the life of me I can't figure out what it was. Did you get my pictures? (That wasn't it, but what the heck. I've got five minutes).

Anyway, I can't think of it at the moment, so I guess you get to wait until next week. I love you, thank you thank you thank you for the Christmas presents (and thank you Grandma and Grandpa for the mission donations (thank you Sister Little as well), thank you Grandma Read for the box I haven't actually received yet, and thank you to anybody and everybody I missed), be safe, and have a good week. I mean it. Oh, and enjoy the new year.

-Sister Read.

12:58 PM. Monday.

So we hit the internet earlier than usual today, mostly because we've got some serious shopping to do (groceries and winter nylons... woo!), but also because transfers happen at the end of this week and we as a Zone want to go and climb the little mini mountain located just east of the city. Once again... photos as I get around to them. See also: When I find a computer with USB capabilities. Basically what I'm saying here is that while I found a battery charger for relatively cheap, I now need to focus on getting photos off the camera. I figure you'll get to see what my life is like on the mission sometime after I return home.

And also, before Iforget, and because if I wait until next Monday it'll be too late: Happy Birthday Dearest Eldest Sibling Mine. On Sunday. Oh for cuteness... Christopher is going to be... 27? Really? That's disgusting. I'm disgusted. Hippo Birdies, Sibling Dearest. Hippo Birdies.

Let's see... what else? Ah. Sometime last week Sister Ivanova declared that she was in the mood for french fries, and so we bought potatoes (fast food is not something readily available around here... although now that I think about it, I did hear that there's a Baskin Robbins somewhere on the American (see also: waaaaaaay south and very very very very rich) side of town. I'll have to check that out sometime) and put them in the refrigerator (here again we see the silly Russian habit of keeping the wrong food cold. Milk can be left out for days and days, but potatoes? No thank you, we like ours cold). Today we finally got around to frying them, and as a result, I smell like grease. And I'm pretty sure that I'm going to smell like grease for the next two weeks. Maybe that'll help draw in the investigators. Well I can hope.

So around Tuesday-ish of last week I discovered that Russian has what I would call every-day-common-usage swearwords, and Bad Ones. Sort of like the difference between our mild taboo words and the words that polite people would never ever ever use... only more so. And, interestingly enough, I discovered this in the middle of a lesson, of all places. HA. I'll tell you all about it next week though, because I don't have enough time this week.

Per usual (though of course that doesn't make it any less), I love you all, I expect you all to stay safe this week, and I expect stories of all the fun things you do without me.

-Calista Davidovna. Missionary Russian-style.

Consider this your own little Post Script

So I forgot to mention that we aren't allowed to give you any other address other than the mission home, and in any case it's not such a good idea because of the unreliability of the postal service around here (and I mean it's incredibly unreliable. The mailbox just above ours, for example, is held together with string and tape), and because of course we never know how long we'll be anywhere.

AND also, if, dad, you felt it necessary to send me a recording of Cantico singing, well, I know for a fact that it would be enjoyed. AND allowed, which is possibly the importanter of the two. Yes, importanter. President Pratt is fairly liberal with the music we're allowed to listen to, and since I'm pretty sure there aren't any obscene lyrics and/or romantic overtones in your music, well...

Anyway, I'm really out of time now, so for realsies this time (Oh Steven. How's that kid doing, anyway?), Good day to you all.

Christmas is coming...

Okay okay okay, so it's Monday (obviously) and I've chosen to write you all first, because Saturday was Zone Conference, and that of course meant that President and Sister Pratt were both here for the weekend, and THAT means that they know exactly what's going on with us right now. Actually, now that I think about it, they may still be here, because we had a snowstorm blow in here AND in Vladivostok last night. In any case, it's Monday and PDay, Zone Conference was amazing as usual, and we've finally got time to do some updating for the family. So.

First things first: As of this year I will be spending Christmas in Korea, which is both awesome and lame at the same time. Because there are only 5 of us sisters in the mission, and because Sister Lewis, my MTC companion, also has to be in Korea with me, Sister Ivanova will be flying up to Khabarovsk to hang out with Sister Kavalovskaya (have I mentioned that Cyrillic doesn't look pretty in Romanic? Well it doesn't.), which of course means that the investigators there will get a lot of attention and ours won't get any. Oh well. Also, I hear the temple in Korea will be closed because it's Christmas and all, and that's also a bummer. Guess there's always March.

And that brings me to point number two... ish. Because it doesn't really work out for me to call you on Christmas day here (Silly Russians don't know how to celebrate holidays properly. As far as they're concerned, Christmas is sometime in January), And since Christmas for me isn't even Christmas for you anyway, sometime on the 26th (my time) I'll be calling, but I'm not entirely sure when exactly because we're flying into Vladivostok or Khabarovsk or some other completely foreign place in the morning and then from there on to Sakhalin... assuming of course that we don't get transferred, at any rate. Given the fact that President himself said it would be so, I'm assuming we're here to stay at least another 7 weeks after the 21st (short transfer this time around, just in case you're wondering. Easier to get flights for the new elders coming in, or something). In any case, that probably means I'll need a phone card, but if you send me one you'd better do it quickly because mail here is rather on the slow side. I'll see if I can locate one here in the meantime.

Speaking of things I need to find here, my stupid battery charger, which, okay, I didn't actually purchase, randomly decided to die the other day, and as of this moment I have no way to charge my batteries. So I need to find one that's relatively cheap and that cooperates with the outlets here. See also: Actually works. Welp. Good luck, I suppose. More on that one as things happen. When I do get one though, I promise I'll start sending photos... though that's another one of those dunno how's I'm currently working on, and if dad you would be so kind as to send me a thumb drive, well, that would be just thrilling. Pleaseandthankyou.

So I made another new friend this week. Sister Ivanova and I were tracting in some buildings on the east side of our area (we found open buildings to tract in! Hooray!) around... wednesday ish, and we'd found somebody who, while interested in our message, wasn't actually interested in opening the door to talk to us, for some reason. So we were doing our best to be as loud as possible while still not being loud enough to overly disturb the neighbors when we heard barking on the floor below us. Then about 30 seconds later a black dog of medium-ish size (we found out later that his name is Misha) ran up the stairs and over to us, still barking. Apparently he'd decided I was the least friendly of the two of us, because he circled Sister Ivanova once, then came over to me and promptly bit me on the foot. I looked down at him and I thought to myself, "Really? Really? That's my foot. I need that." It didn't hurt of course, and it didn't even leave a mark on my boot, but still. He bit me! Lame. After that we figured we were done tracting in that building, so we walked as calmly as possible down the stairs and out the building, with Misha following along behind (still barking). Outside we met his owner, who sadly wasn't interested in the gospel, and who also wasn't very interested in the behavior of her furred nuisance, but she also wasn't horribly opposed to seeing us again. So...  We shall see how we feel about that one. And here I thought all those crazy dog stories were just myths they told the greenies to scare them. Huh. Live and learn, I suppose.

Welp. I'm all out of amazing things to say this week, and in any case I've still got to write to President Pratt (although the why is a little beyond me at this point, I will admit. Rules are rules though). I love you all, I expect you all to have an amazing week, and if there's anything you want from Korea, well, you've got until the end of my mission to let me know. See also: Stay safe and happy. Yes, both together.

-Sister Read. Calista-style.

Practically December already?

Okay okay okay okay okay okay okay. So. Big news. We have an actual church building! And it's actually finished (ish)! We got word last... oh, Friday ish, maybe, that they'd finished the remodel on the 1st and 2nd floors of our building, and therefore we could move in as soon as Wednesday, after they'd put the final touches on it. So, bright and early Wednesday morning (ish. Early for me as a college student. Early for me as a missionary... not so much. More like middle of the day.) all six of us missionaries and various branch members gathered in the old building and began the work of packing, cleaning, and, for Ivanova and I at least, throwing out a whole lot of unnecessary junk. Then they sent us over to the new building to clean, because apparently the work of lifting and hauling is absolutely not something a Sister of any sort (missionary or not) should ever even think about doing in Russia, much less attempt. And should you choose to disregard this and try to carry something anyway, you'd better hope that the Relief Society President doesn't catch you, because she's not afraid to give you an earful. Haha. I love the members here.

So I'm not sure what it is about my last name, but people around here absolutely love saying it. Maybe because it's so foreign to them, but I don't think I've gone a whole day in the last couple weeks without hearing, "Reet! Reet!" at least once. In fact, as we were standing in front of the new building contacting one day, a whole group of construction (ish. I dunno what it is that they think they're doing, exactly) workers walked passed, looked at my nametag, and then excitedly exclaimed, "Sister Read! Sister Read! Look! Sister Read!" Apparently they'd heard of me. My fame spreads. Ha. Sadly none of them was interested in our message or the Restored Gospel, but we figure that was only because it was our first contact. I read somewhere that it takes an average of 7 contacts with members of the church before a person is ready to meet with the missionaries. 6 more times and we're good to go.

The following is a paragraph especially for Grandma Read, because she wants to hear about people and scenery... or something to that effect, anyway.

Climate-wise, Yuzhno seems to be an interesting mix of Portland and Provo, or somewhere in between. We walk down the street and I feel like I'm at home, because there are a million billion trillion trees everywhere, and because it rains... often. When it's not raining, it's snowing, and being as how the weather around here officially decided winter began on Halloween, it's been snowing off and on for the last month. We'll get about a foot of snow over a period of 4 or 5 days, and then it'll randomly decide that that's enough snow for a while, and it'll all melt off over the next few days. But then, oh wait, it's winter, and we'll get another 6 days of snow. For the record, my coat is a beautiful, beautiful thing. Walking around Russia in a skirt would be less than fun without it.

Opa. The computer just informed me that I've only got 5 minutes left. More on people and things of that sort later, I suppose. For the record, my last pair of regular nylons died last week. It's a good think I've got the winter ones. Dunno what I'll do when summer hits, though.

Anyway, I'm through. Love you all, stay safe, think of me, and... do big things this week.

-Your favorite sister missionary. Calista.

So.

Today is Monday the 23rd of November, and I feel like it should have some special significance.
... Other than being the 23rd, that is.

So basically Geoff and Nicole are my heroes this week. Not only did they write me, but they wrote me letters and then paid for them to be sent through the mail all the way to me in Russia. Best day of my week, hands down. Chris is a very close second, because he also wrote me. His letter though was one he'd sent back when I was in the MTC, and in any case he sent it through free mail, so it doesn't count. Still. Feel free to keep on keeping on in that sphere of things.

Speaking of letters, tell Shana Brown she's got one coming soon... ish. Like within the next month I'll get it sent off. Really. Honestly though, P Day as a day to do any kind of relaxing is one of those lies they tell you in the MTC to make you feel better about what you're getting into mission-wise. Someday I'll know what free time is again. But I'm not sure that I'll enjoy it when I find it. Ironic, no?

Just in case you're wondering, today's internet cafe is much more aesthetically pleasing than the one we usually go to. Much faster too. The only downside is that it's apparently a popular place for teenagers to gather and play Counterstrike. Yes, apparently they have video games even in Russia, and they're played with just as much noise and enthusiasm as at home. I'm pretty sure I've already learned at least 3 new Russian swearwords just in the 10 minutes we've sat here. I'll have to try them out on our investigators at a later date. Ha. I kid. It's not like I can even remember them anyway...

I dunno what else to say at this point. Pretty normal week, for missionary work. Although, now that I think about it we did have more people than usual keep their appointments with us, which was pretty much a miracle in and of itself. Usually about 1/3 of the people we set up appointments with dodge out at the last minute, and then the backup plan ups and falls flat as well. Not this week though. Almost every appointment went through, and as a result we've got a whole bunch of new investigators. The only brown spot in the orange is that they aren't all in our area... Welp. The elders don't actually need to know that, do they?

Anyway, I'm all out of time, and we've got people to be meeting with. Feel free to write me sometime. I enjoy it.

Stay safe, remember that I love you, and have a good holiday.

-Sister Read

And it came to pass (translated into Russian as "and it was," in case you wondered)...

Oh for cute, the most youngest brother is 14 today (well, today for me anyway). Hang on. Bryant. You're 14. When did that happen? Oy. I feel like I should be singing "Sunrise, Sunset" here. Wasn't it yesterday that they were young (born? Small? I forget the word here)? Haha. In any case, happy flippin birthday, Bry! In true Russian style I'm going to skip the birthday song and go straight for birthday wishes: I desire for you a beautiful wife; many happy children; luck in your studies; friends, friends, and more friends; a nice car sometime in the future; a good singing voice; a house with heat in the wintertime; delicious food (also sometime in the future); cleanliness; health; a chance to meet somebody famous; and all your best dreams to come true. I'd go on like a true Russian in True Russian style (no kidding. Get them going and they don't stop until they've hit up every good, ok, neutral, and even semi-neutral-almost-bad thing they can think of for you. It's quite amusing), but I've got other things to report. Consider yourself well and properly desired-for.

In other news, and this you may understand was pretty much the highlight of my life thus far, two of our investigators were baptized on Saturday! Woo! We met Dasha and Yulia my first week out here on the island (literally like the first or second day), gave them a pass-along card for a copy of Finding Faith in Christ, and set up an appointment to watch it with them. After the movie we set up another appointment to teach them the first lesson, and by the end of that lesson they'd committed to baptism. Um. Can we say golden? They showed up at church every week after that (even conference, and they sat through it all!), immediately started drinking herbal tea right after the lesson on the Word of Wisdom (side note: tea, as you may have heard, is rather popular here. I'm pretty sure I'm going to come home composed entirely of tea we drink it so often. But I digress.), and basically did everything else we committed them to do, all with smiles on their faces. The members of the branch absolutely love the two of them, so their baptism was really well attended and amazingly spiritual. Gah! I love this work! Now if only we could get our other investigators to be as cooperative as these two. We've had to drop several because they refused to progress, and that was lame. The last couple of weeks we've been focused on finding more people to teach (yay! Contacting!), and we're only just now starting to see the fruits of those labors. Here's hoping the teaching pool will increase itself soon, because we need those people and they need the gospel.

In other other news, on Friday of this week we (that is, the missionaries) have been invited by the Joneses and the Nobles to celebrate Thanksgiving with them before they all take off for the States and "live like civilized people for a month." Needless to say, we're all looking forward to it (even Sister Ivanova and Elder Papoke are excited about it, and they've never even observed it before now. Apparently word about American holidays (and how we celebrate them) gets around). We've been strictly forbidden from bringing anything other than 1 or 2 liters of juice per companionship, of course, because Sister Noble and Sister Jones are in this and in all things True Relief Society Sisters and have in all likelyhood prepared enough food to feed the entire city. So. No need to worry about your Poor Starving Missionary Daughter (HA) in Russia on Thanksgiving, because I get the feeling she's going to be very very well-fed.

Speaking of delicious food though, can I have some recipes? I want to do some experimenting with Russian ingredients and see what comes out. Please please please I would love coffee cake, pie (apple, blueberry, whatever), banana bread, regular boring bread (it's icky here), texas chocolate cake, and anything else you care to send my way. Oh and also, if at all possible, can I have one of those Joseph Smith Translations of the Bible that they sell at Desperate Book, please? Assuming of course that it isn't too heavy at any rate.

Welp. That's all from me today. Be safe, have fun, and remember that I love you all!

-Sister Read

My favorite English-Speaking-Missionary-Mistake-In-Russian Thus Far: "I love the water in Hell."

Four months on a mission as of Saturday, and today marks the beginning of week 6 in Russia. Crazy. For the record, missions go much faster from this side. Sister Ivanova keeps telling me to make the most of it because I haven't got much time left, but she's one to talk. She goes home in March. We found out today that we're here on the island for at least one more transfer, which wasn't much of a surprise for either of us. Apparently sisters tend to stay in one place for a very very very very very very very very very long time in this mission. At least this is what I hear from the Senior Companion. We shall see.

Today Sister Jones, whose husband works for Exxon (of course), needed to go into town to buy groceries and so she invited us missionaries along. The place she shops is really cheap (relatively speaking, of course. We are on an Island in Russia, after all), but it's difficult to get to without a car. I must say it's nice to have somebody to speak English with once in a while, because I'm beginning to feel like I'm committing a minor sin every time I speak with one of my fellow missionaries for more than 10 seconds in English. We're supposed to be 100% Russian when there are members present, and invariably (except for Zone Meetings on Tuesdays) if we're all in one place it means there are members nearby somewhere. Obviously too much English isn't much of a problem when it's just me and Sister Ivanova, because although she understands more English than I do Russian, she still tends to revert back to Russian after one or two words in English. With Sister Jones on the other hand, anything but English is a no-go, because she speaks almost no Russian. Huh. Who would've thought I'd miss English? (I'm pretty sure I've said that before too. I'm getting predictable in my old age).

While we're on my favorite topic of languages, here's an amusing-ish story that happened a couple weeks ago in church: Brother Noble, the Branch Mission Leader (who also happens to work for Exxon, go figure), is very gung-ho about his calling, and likes to meet with the full-time and branch missionaries at least weekly. So every Sunday afternoon at promptly 1:00 we're all gathered in the Priesthood room, ready to talk about how to make the work go forward faster. Like Sister Jones, Brother Noble also doesn't speak much Russian, so of course he conducts the meeting in English. However, because the majority of the people in the room are native Russian speakers, we as missionaries give our reports in Russian, because it's usually the natives who need our information most. Usually what ends up happening then is that we, the non-native American missionaries are speaking Russian and the native Russians will do the translating back into English for Brother Noble. It's highly amusing.

In any case, I'm all out of town (or time. Whatever) again. I love you all, stay safe - I MEAN IT! - and have a better week, please.

Sister Read

Entertaining subject lines are for the lesser mortals

Last week I had too much time, this week I don't have enough. Go figure. We'll see how much I get written in 15 minutes or less.

Firstly, before I forget: Happy belated Birthday Chickenlegs! Oh for cute, my adorkable little nephew is 2. Here's hoping things are going smashingly for you Marie as well :)

So I guess the weather in Russia has officially decided that we've had enough Fall for one year. On Saturday it started snowing, and except for a small break yesterday during church, it's been going pretty much steadily for a while now.
...Except of course now that I've written that it just decided to stop. Very well. Two can play this game. Gosh. Such a shame that it's not going to be in the upper 90s this week...
Haha. I kid. Snow is beautiful. And lots of fun. Actually, it really is here, assuming of course that you happen to be in the right space.

9 minutes...

It's been a strange week. Every day at least half of our appointments and their backup plans fell through, which meant that we spent a lot of time out on the street contacting. Yeehaw. Sister Ivanova and I were talking about it the other day, and we decided that this week was the Lord's way of helping us come to love contacting, since neither of us really prefers it much. I'm not entirely sure it's my favorite thing just yet, but in any case my relationship with contacting has definitely improved. What an interesting way to share the Gospel - 30 to 60 seconds at a time. This week we're hoping that at least one of the people we talked to will be interested in meeting with us again.

Speaking of Sister Ivanova, I guess I should tell you more about her. She is from the city of Ulan-Ude, which, as I think I mentioned, is somewhere in the Nova Sibersk mission somewhere. She and I have a lot in common, which makes working together nice. She's a neat freak like I am, and, while she like every other native Russian eats strange things occasionally, she and I rarely disagree about what we're going to eat. She's also one of those people who believes that life is better when laughed at, so basically I think she's pretty much the perfect companion.

I'm out of time, but I have an assignment for you all this week: Go to the temple and do some service, because I can't. And then tell me about it. Please?

I love you all, and I promise I'll have more to say next week. Really.
... Really. Promise.

-Sister Read. Calista-style, but of course I don't know that. We have first names.

Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday Monday!

So. One week I get a letter from dad, the next week I get one from mom. Are we taking turns now, or are things just not coming through? And if we are taking turns, does that mean next week I shouldn't write?

I finally got around to buying my winter coat and boots, as you may have noticed that there is slightly less money in my bank account. You may have also noticed that they were rather on the obscenely expensive side, but that's okay because they're also ridiculously warm. Please pass on my thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Hyde, in any case, because the rubles they sent me while I was in the MTC were exactly enough to cover the cost of the boots. The coat itself is covered in a ton of fur. Yuck. I'll send you pictures one of these days if I ever find enough time to do so. Most if not all of the fur is removable though, so you may not get the full effect of the coat by the time I get around to taking pictures. We shall see.

I think I've discovered the secret to eating Russian food: Never, under any circumstances, no matter how much you may want to, think about what it is you're putting into your mouth. It's amazing how much easier it is to eat the things you're offered when you do it that way. True, I have yet to be offered fish heads (which American missionaries aren't allowed to eat anyway, now that I think about it. All the fish around here have been declared too polluted for healthy consumption) or dog (also, as I understand it, off limits to Americans. Bummer.), but I figure it's only a matter of time. In any case, while most of the things I've eaten have been quite tasty (Russian pancakes, for example, which, incidentally, also happen to be used as a mild swearword (the word for pancakes, not the pancakes themselves, though that would be pretty much awesome)), some have been... interesting.

I made a new friend while contacting this week. I offered him a Finding Faith in Christ pass-along card and started to explain what it was and who we were when about 3 words in he interrupted with, "what's that she says?" So I started over, and again about 3 words in he turned to Sister Ivanova and asked, "She doesn't speak Russian, does she? Where is she from?" America, of course. "Ah, America. I love beautiful women from America." Sister Ivanova then answered with something to the effect of, "yes, that's very nice. But you should listen to the message she's got for you." And then she gave me that steely-eyed, "go ahead sweetheart," look that I'm pretty sure mothers have been giving their wayward children for centuries. Welp. She's the senior companion, so I went ahead. "It's a DVD about Jesus Christ. His life, His Atonement--"
"I love you. She doesn't understand me, does she?"
"She understands just fine, but that's not--"
"No no. I will tell her. I. LOVE. YOU."
Thank you sir, I'm very flattered. But you see, generally I tend to go for those closer to my own age, and anyway, I've only just started my mission and I've been commanded to lock my heart.

Needless to say our conversation didn't last much longer after that. But we left him the pass-along card with the address on the church building on it, and who knows? Maybe he'll feel inspired to come and learn more about the gospel.
... Or to find beautiful women. Either way, I think it'll be a good way to introduce him to the elders. HA.

Speaking of the church, did I tell you that we have an actual building here on Sakhalin? It's currently being remodeled (and has been for at least a year (if not more) from what I hear. But they swear it'll be done by Christmas. Really), so we meet on the fifth floor of a building in the middle of the city. But the fact that we have an actual building owned soley by the Church, and used solely for Church business, is astounding. It's definitely the only one in the mission, and may also be the only one east of Samara. Woo! The Church is growing! Next up: temple. We have a branch of 100. We just need a stake. 4 more branches to go. It'll happen.

Amusing-ish story: When Sister Ivanova and I came home on Thursday night, we discovered that our building and all those surrounding it were completely without power. Theoretically there are candles located in our apartment somewhere, but we couldn't find them anywhere. We looked for about 10 minutes and then decided they really weren't that important anyway, because really all we needed to do was plan, and we figured we could just as easily do that by cell phone light anyway. So we did. Or started to, anyway. For some as-of-yet-unknown reason, the cell phone randomly died and refused to turn back on. Well. But we're resourceful Sister Missionaries, so we went and grabbed my alarm clock and finished planning by the light of the snooze button. Then at exactly 9:31 pm I learned that home phones are not powered by the same source as everything else in the apartment, because that's when Elder Carter, our Zone Leader, called and asked why he had not as yet received our nightly phone call telling him that we'd arrived home safely, and why weren't we answering our cell phone? Ha. Good times.

Luckily for me I don't ever have to deal with the cell phone, because as per mission rules responsibility for the cell phone rests with the Senior Companion, which I most definitely am not. Occasionally it does fall into the hands of the Junior Companion for a short period of time (like, for example, when your senior companion runs off to Vladivostok to take the TOEFL test and leaves you with a member of the branch for two days), but for the most part (except for the occasional appointment she has me set up when she's absolutely sure I'll understand everything I'm told), Sister Ivanova does all of the phone communicating. And that's the way it should be.

I've got some extra time this week for some reason I can't quite figure out, so here, have some unofficially official responses to various people who have emailed me, because I can't actually respond to them personally. Please feel free to pass them on as you see fit.

Lisa Hoffman's haircut is very very cute, and Hayden is much too young to be dating. :) Oh, and doing missionary work is good for them!

I'm thoroughly disgusted that Cynthia is still running around Europe like a madwoman, but she's only got a limited amount of time left. I've still got at least another 14 months here. HA! Oh, and tell Shana Brown I've discovered at least 3 potential husbands for her already.

I think that's it. Possibly. I love you all, please feel free to enjoy yourselves without me (though I expect stories if you do), and try to keep yourselves safe another week.

-Sister Read. Or Сестра Рид here.

(Editorial comment: the guy enamored of Calista, is that one of the potential husbands for Shana?)

Dear Parents and so forth,

It's Monday again, which means it's Sunday for you and P Day for me. I'm sitting here in an internet cafe in what my silly Russian compatriots charmingly think of as a "mall." There's a sign on the computer that, politely put, demands that I not converse by telephone! (!!!!), and per usual I've only got a limited amount of time to get things written.

We finally got to see conference yesterday and Saturday, and what made it even better was that they had it in English (well, all sessions except the General Relief Society broadcast, but I figured that was okay because I listened to it in the MTC before I left), which meant that I could understand! Hooray! Admittedly the room we watched it in was freezing, because of course they haven't turned on the heat in the church building and there's only one portable heater, which of course the branch had in their room because there are many more of them than there are missionaries and other native English speakers, but it was still amazing. We even had investigators show up for both sessions on Sunday. Hooray! These particular two we met up with on the street our first couple days in, and they're actually progressing amazingly well.

As far as finding other investigators though, we can't really do much tracting, because everybody lives in your typical Soviet-era housing, complete with an outside-locking door. So unless you know somebody inside or you have a key, there isn't much in the way of getting in. Most of the people we teach we meet on the street usually by means of the pass-along card (which of course are always a good conversation-starter). Occasionally the members will introduce us to their friends and family, and of course when they do it's always amazing. There are only six of us missionaries on the island, so of course we can't contact everybody.

The mission itself is so small that we don't have districts, only zones. Sister Ivanova and I are in the center of the city (we live on what in English I think would be World Avenue, in case you want to look it up. See also Prospect Mira, in Russian) in an apartment, which, aside from the occasional drift of smoke from the neighbors, is actually not too bad. Well. It's habitable, which I think is more than can be said for the Elders' apartments, though of course I haven't seen any of theirs. Only heard stories. For some reason that I can't quite figure out though, somehow we only have a very limited supply of cold water, which lasts about 2 minutes in the shower, and then it gets boiling hot. Mind you, I'm not entirely sure that this is something to complain about, because of course hot water is lovely, but I've discovered that it's just as difficult to shower in water that burns as it is in water that freezes. At any rate my shower time has definitely decreased.

Sister Ivanova is also amazing. She comes from somewhere in the Nova Sibirsk mission, though I can't remember which city, exactly. She joined the church 5 years ago, and served 4 mini-missions before she actually put in her papers to serve. She's a missionary machine of course, and is one of those people that every loves, which makes our work that much easier.

In any case, I'm out of time again, and per usual I still need to write to President Pratt.

I love you all, stay safe, have fun, and please fell free to enjoy delicious foods like snickerdoodles other things I won't see for a while.

-Sister Read

(Editor's note: I particularly enjoyed Calista's contrition at not going out with the missionaries more before her mission, especially since she was somewhat less than enthusiastic about the idea. :-P )

Holy cow, I've only got a few minutes, but about a million things to tell you.

Firstly: Hello my wonderful, amazing, marvelous, active-members-of-the-church parents (and siblings, if you read this, and beloved grandparents, church members or not :) as well. Please see also: roommates (I hope you know who you are), second- or third-families, and every other awesome individual in my life). I love you all! Let me tell you how amazingly lucky I am to have you: Very. I mean exceedingly.

Oh man, the church here is so young! Okay, so admittedly the mission itself has only been open for 10 years, but even so. It's almost bizarre when we meet with a member and find out that they've been in the church for more than 3 or 4 years. Crazy! The branch on Sakhalin has about 100 members, and they're all pretty cool, and way pumped about doing missionary work. Every single day we've had people to teach, obviously, and at almost every single lesson we've had a member present. Wow. Please tell the missionaries at home that when I get back I will be happy to go out with them at any time, because I definitely didn't do it enough pre-mission, and I realize now what a nuisance it is when members aren't available.

In any case, more about the mission: Ours is definitely a walking city (obviously it's a walking mission, but here on Sakhalin it's even more so than in Vladivostok, where they at least have fairly a fairly reliable bus system. We have one here, but reliable it is not so much), which is fine with me because Russian drivers definitely have no concept of what those lines painted on the road mean, or what a "road" is, for that matter. Lanes? Meh. We don't need them. Too much traffic? Let's take the sidewalk! Yikes. Luckily the sidewalks themselves are fairly big, so pedestrians never get hit. ... That I've seen, anyway. Although, at the rate people drink around here, I would not honestly be surprised to see a drunk pedestrian meet up with a vehicle.

The food here is, well interesting, I suppose. On PDay last week I made the mistake of letting Sister Ivanova talk me into going to a Mexican restaurant and eating a chimichanga. Oof. Heed my words, all within listening distance: If ever you find yourself in Far East Russia, never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever Ever EVER eat the mexican food. EVER. And I mean that. Sincerely. The rest of the food, however, has been relatively normal ish. Except for the dairy. Russian butter tastes like vomit, and I refuse to drink milk that is allowed to sit out on the counter for 4 or 5 days at a time. Instead I've taken to eating my cereal in the morning with yogurt, because it's very difficult to go wrong with yogurt, I've discovered. It's actually quite tasty, and I may just continue this practice after the mission. Every other meal is just about what you'd expect around here: some sort of pasta/bread product and meat, which admittedly is pretty delicious also. Fruits and vegetables are obscenely expensive, Sister Ivanova keeps telling me, so I guess it's a good thing I've got my multivitamins handy.

I hear that all the American missionaries wait until they go to Korea to buy all their food, because they've got a (gasp!) COSTCO there, and Koreans apparently know how to eat proper food, like chips and salsa and I don't know what else. Peanut butter, possibly. In any case, I guess I'll find out in December, because my visa expires on the 29th. Theoretically that could mean I spend either Christmas or New Year (or both, or neither) in Korea, depending on when they send us out and how long they keep us there. We shall see. Depending on how badly I want chips and salsa by the time I get out there, I may just follow the examples of all the American missionaries before me and do some serious food-buying when I get there.

The weather here on the island is quite pleasant, and I could get used to it. It's overcast a lot, and when It isn't overcast, it's raining. Beautiful.

Oh crud, I've only got 5 more minutes, and I'm supposed to write to President Pratt. I love you, I'll try to continue next week, and if not, welp, just know that things are going very... interestingly here in Russia. And I love it.

Love you!
-Sister Read. Calista to you.

This picture was in the standard "your son/daughter has arrived in the mission and fine, so please stop fretting" email that parents get when their offspring has arrived at the mission home.

Calista's first letter from the mission field

Dad! And hopefully Mom if this is your email address. If not, Hello Linda Read. You have the same name as my mother. Here's hoping you enjoy this as much as she would. I couldn't remember either of your email addresses, but I'm about 85% certain I got dad's right. Yesterday they asked me for my parents' email addresses so they could send out a reassuring email complete with Picture Of Your Missionary With The President, and I reeeeeally couldn't remember either address then, so I gave them davidread4@gmail.com, only to realize later that Dad uses daveread... Sooooooooo if you happen to have a davidread4 also, well okay, but if not, some complete stranger may or may not have received an email telling him that his daughter arrived safely in Russia on Saturday (although technically of course it was Friday, and let me tell you it's throwing my sense of time off completely. The Time Zone change wasn't too bad, because in reality we're only 4 hours behind you, or 16 ahead if you really want to get technical about it. I'm pretty sure I've adjusted okay, but then again it's only been two days).

Anyway, I talked to President Pratt about using other email services, and, well, I guess you can see what he had to say about it. Meh. One email service is as good as the next one, I suppose. I think I'll just forward everything to my gmail, so that it won't take up the .00000000000000000000000002 mm of space they give me on myldsmail. I wasn't sure if I would be able to create a myldsmail account seeing as how I'm not currently in the MTC and I'm pretty sure that's the only place you can create an account, but the office couple here, Elder and Sister Magill are pretty much amazing and miraculous. So behold, or as they say in Russia, "вот," which is probably spelled something like Vot in English and rhymes with Boat. It's quite a useful word around here, because it can be anything from a random filler to a direction (Look there!) to something like, "look what I found!" or, "Oh, no worries, I found it." I've been using it a lot in the latter context lately. Who knew that travel required so much finding? And who knew that the passport is a very vital part of international travel? Huh.

Speaking of travel, let me tell you about the journey over here. (You may or may not have noticed, by the way, that this is going to be a longer letter than usual. Apparently I've just experienced a very large change in my life or something.) The flight from SLC to LA was uneventful. I ate Sour Patch Kids (of course I purchased those before leaving. How could I not?) and took a nap. Then we got into LA and spent 30 minutes wandering in circles trying to find our gate, mostly because the airport in LA is currently undergoing a large amount of remodling and construction. Eventually we managed to locate it, and we sat and waited another 2 hours to board the plane, which, by the way was not a 747 but was, in fact a 777. Holy cow, talk about flying in your living room. Someday I would like to fly internationally on Korean Air again, preferably when not a missionary so that I can play all the games and watch all the free movies they offer on the individual television screens placed on the back of every seat. As it was, when I wasn't attempting to sleep sitting up, I would pull up the airplane statistics and watch the progress of our plane across the screen. It was quite entertaining. Because of the way our seats were booked, three of the members of my district ended up at the back of the plane and the other three (me included, obviously) were more towards the middle. In addition, somehow it ended up that Sister Lewis and Elder Kezele were in a side row together and I was in the middle row by myself. Well, mostly by myself. I might've been nice and switched seats with Elder Kezele, but I wasn't feeling particularly generous and I figured it would be good for him to sit where he was. Meanwhile, I was next to a man, who, when he heard that I was going to Russia (and that I was paying to do so), said something to the effect of, "I am so sorry. Good luck. You're going to need it." He then spent most of our mutual waking hours trying to persuade me that I had no idea what I was getting into. I guess he found my situation really worrying, because by the end of the flight he had not only given me his complimentary muffin, but also three or four of the free toothbrushes they had available in the restrooms and told me to "give them to your boys. I mean, your elders. You'll need them." Apparently they don't know how to brush their teeth in Russia, or something.

Other than my newest and bestest friend, the 13 hour flight from LA to Seoul was also fairly uneventful. Actually, now that I think about it, the whole trip was fairly uneventful. Long, yes, but not particularly exciting. We all made it through the screening processes in Korea and Vladivostok, and all of our luggage arrived when we did. It was kind of strange going through Customs here in Vladivostok though, because while we were standing in line (very much like cattle waiting to be processed, for the record) waiting our turn there was almost no talking going on around us. I mean none. It was crazy. But, as I said, we all made it through safely, no extra charges or anything, and then we met up with President and Sister Pratt, who were simultaneously sending off 3 missionaries and welcoming all of us in.

After meeting with President Pratt, Sister Lewis and I piled into the Pratts' car with them, their driver (Americans aren't allowed to drive over here), and all of our luggage. The elders got to take a taxi with the APs. Then we drove for an hour from Arteyom (That's where the airport is located, and also happens to be one of open cities in the mission. I just wish I could figure out how it's spelled in English (This whole conversion thing is lame). That's the closest approximation I've got.) to the mission home where we stayed until this morning, because they had to fly in various companionships and get all our Visa and 2nd passport stuff done, and obviously some of that couldn't be done until today.

So yesterday we got to go to the branch here in Vladivostok, and that was pretty interesting, because of course it was all conducted in Russian. I understood Sacrament meeting, because it was all testimonies, and I'd say we're nothing if not experts on those anymore, and I got most of Sunday School, but holy cow, the Relief Society President (who looks like a Relief Society President, for the record. It's good to know that the church is true even here in Russia) speaks at about 500,000,000,000 miles a minute and so I only caught 3 or 4 out of ever 15 words. And I'm told that's how they all speak around here too.

We got our assignments while we were staying with President and Sister Pratt, obviously, and they told us who our companions would be. I've been put with Sister Ivanova (who is flippin cute, for the record. We met last night when she flew in, and of course she's one of those people who makes friends with absolutely everybody, and whom everybody absolutely adores. I'm pretty sure we'll get along quite well, especially because she speaks about as much English as I do Russian, so communication is only occasionally interesting, as opposed to constantly.) and we're heading to the island of Sakhalin later this evening. There's only one open city in Sakhalin, and it's all the way on the south of the island (of course I'm using the term "island" very relatively here. It's about the size of California, I think.). Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk, I think it's called. I'm so excited. I can't even tell you.

Anyway, that's my hour up. I've got to go figure out how I'm going to compact all my belongings into 1 suitcase, because that's all they let you take out there. Luckily they let you take up to 70 lbs, though. I'm seriously doubting it'll be much of a problem.

I love you, stay safe, and have fun!

-Sister Read